


Stars Align

by haganenoheichou, perks_of_being_a_nerd



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pacific Rim Fusion, Alternate Universe - Space, Character Death, M/M, Major Character Injury, Mind Meld, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Prison, Science Fiction, Sexual Content, Sort of Soulmate AU, Space Husbands, The Drift (Pacific Rim), Violence, War, eruri - Freeform, starfighter - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-12
Updated: 2018-02-12
Packaged: 2018-10-18 04:58:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 30,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10609746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haganenoheichou/pseuds/haganenoheichou, https://archiveofourown.org/users/perks_of_being_a_nerd/pseuds/perks_of_being_a_nerd
Summary: An unknown danger from the skies shatters life as people on Earth know it. Humanity is under attack. The only chance of survival are the heroic Battlestar Pilots, two minds running a single machine, synched to perfection. Their numbers dwindle, the death toll gets too high, and prisoners on death row replace them as a last resort to keep the program running.Levi could care less about the Battlestars, could care less about becoming a savior, especially when his partner is the arrogant prisoner 101.





	1. The Reaping

A lot of people back home thought there was no sound in space. Well, technically, that was true. Except nobody ever ventured out into space. Not really. There were suits, ships, things that stood between man and the vastness of the vacuum outside.

Sounds in space were numerous, though, Levi had learned. The steady hum of the _Wings of Freedom_ vibrating beneath his feet. The sound of footsteps – rubber soles on metal floors, hollow, rhythmic. Whispers squeezed between bars: _got a cigarette? Baby, wanna have a good time? I promise it won’t hurt… much._ Carnivorous laughter.

He didn’t make many sounds. He sat, slumped against the metal wall of the single cell, one of the two-hundred and ninety-eight unfortunate souls who had ended up stranded here. Not stranded, _imprisoned. Placed. Assigned._ It was easier to think of it in those terms.

It had been several months since he’d seen the world outside. There wasn’t much to see – just debris and the occasional meteor, a star or two, maybe; but he still missed it. The metallic hull of the ship was beginning to feel claustrophobic. The last time he had breathed fresh air, _God_ , that had been… Years?

The _Wings of Freedom_ wasn’t the first ship Levi had been placed on. His misdemeanors ended up having him transferred from vessel to vessel. Every time some asshole talked back, Levi hit, Levi bruised, Levi broke bones. The wardens didn’t like that much.

The _Wings_ was different, though. It was probably going to become his last ship. It was the kind of ship that nobody came back from. A fighter station. A Battlestar class cruiser. One of the few ships standing between humanity and the Titans.

Nobody really knew where the Titans had come from. It’s just that one day, Earth had come under attack. Out of the blue. No warning. Millions of casualties. Then some asshole had the brilliant idea of using prisoners as cannon fodder. Well, they _called_ them prisoner-soldiers. They were more the former than the latter. It wasn't like many of them would ever get even to see a Battlestar, let alone pilot one. In his time aboard the _Wings_ , only two men had done it - and that was the reason why the ship didn’t have three hundred prisoners on it. The two that had been sent to fight had not come back.

Nobody asked questions either.

It hadn't always been this way. Pilots used to be worshiped, fighting for the sake of humanity had been a real honor, or at least that was what he had heard. Men would sign up to join ships like the _Wings of Freedom_ as soon as they turned of age, to fight for a righteous cause. But years had passed, and no progress had been made. Instead, the death toll rose, and fewer people had begun to enlist.

And then the reaping had begun.

* * *

_“Attention all prisoners. Please report to Bay A for Mandatory Blood Testing. I repeat, please report to Bay A.”_

_The prison was filled with confused murmurs as all the captives were released from their cells. Guards herded them into Bay A like cattle, without any explanation, except for the announcement, which the mechanized voice kept repeating over and over, making the experience even more surreal._

_When all the prisoners were crammed into the Bay, a man dressed in a soldier’s uniform stepped forward onto the platform to stand beside the Warden. Jeers filled the room – the prisoners had no love for the military men running this ship. Sure, they were better than the guards who did as they pleased with their charges and sent many of them to the medical bay just for kicks; but these assholes, they were even worse: they oversaw this nightmare and did nothing to fix it._

_“Alright, prisoners, today is your lucky day. My name is Marshall Shadis, and I represent the Wings of Freedom." The man observed the rowdy bunch with a stern eye._

_“I am here to give you a gift. Some of you are going to get a do-over. A shot at making something worthwhile of your lives. A shot at freedom. Among you lousy pieces of shit, there are actual soldiers. I’m here today to figure out which of you have the skills to fight. To fight for humanity!”_

_Whispers filled the room, a steady, buzzing sound. Excited. For once, there was excitement on this forsaken ship. They had heard the rumors, of course – that cruisers like these would select people, turn them into heroes, make their names heard throughout the entire galaxy. More importantly, a chance at breathing the fresh air of Earth again._

_"The fight against the Titans is escalating. It is a war we cannot afford to lose. It is a fight above all fights. One fought with Battlestars. They are extremely dangerous machines and require two pilots. I am here today to find those two pilots. These pilots must be compatible enough to go through a process called the drift. Therefore you will all be subjected to synchronization testing."_

_“That is all.”_

_The man left them with more questions than answers – and the search for those ended up being exhausting. One by one, they were called in by their numbers – they didn’t get names, not onboard the cruiser. Only people had names. Cattle was stamped with numbers._

_The rest of the day was long and exhausting, filled with needles, fitness testing, and psychological questioning. All Levi wanted was to get it over with and go back to his cell. He spat in the interviewer’s face when he asked him about the glory of the fight._

_He had no desire to fight for the Wings of Freedom, no desire to risk his life for a cause he didn’t care about._

_Humanity could rot, for all he cared._

_A few hours later, when they were all slumped against the walls and curled up on the floor, completely spent after a day of the most ridiculous procedures known to man, Shadis arrived with a list in hand._

_“When I call your names, please report to Bay B. The guards will escort you. Those of you who are not called, return to your cells immediately.”_

_Names! They got names!_

_“Abel, Ackerman, Bowers, Braun, Briggs, Crook, Flores, Hallowell, Hoover, Mace, Smith, Whilton. That’s it for now”_

* * *

Ackerman. Levi smiled to himself faintly. He hadn’t heard that for a long time, back then. Now, though, it was barked at him all the time.

“Ackerman, heads up!”

The baton smacked against the bars of his cell door.

He sneered at the guard. Pilots or not, they were still just prisoners, locked up like rats in their cells. At least now, he got his own cell. He didn’t have to cram in with the rest of the cattle. This cell was nicer, with a real bed too. On perk of being a pilot was he was supposed to be kept in “peak condition.” _Whatever that meant._

He did have to share it with one other person, though.

Sometimes, he wished he had just been part of the herd; Levi mused as he looked up to see his cell mate's small smile. _Fuck you._

* * *

_Bay B had been transformed into a small fighting arena. Levi lifted an eyebrow as he walked in. Fighting was something he’d always been good at. That had gotten him into some pretty hot water on this ship and the ones he had been held on before._

_He just didn’t have much in him when it came to anger management._

_“Here’s something you should all excel at.”_

_“Fight. Hand-to-hand combat. We will be evaluating your compatibility by overseeing your sparring matches.”_

_Levi’s eyes locked on a set of baby blues. Fuck, how he hated them._

_Number One-oh-One had been a thorn in his side since the day he had set foot on this ship. He was an arrogant asshole. The kind of arrogant asshole that no fucking correctional facility could mellow out. One-oh-One was irritating as he was handsome; a fact that Levi had been forced to admit to himself due to some very unwelcome fantasies in the communal showers._

_The man had been on this cruiser forever, apparently; and all the inmates worshiped the ground he pissed on. He stood tall among them, broad shoulders straight, a neutral expression on his face._

_One-oh-One exuded authority in a way that no other inmate did. Even the guards didn’t give him too much of a hard time. He was soft-spoken when he wanted to be, kissing ass like a pro; so well, in fact, that Levi really wondered how he didn’t smell of ballsack._

_Of course, Levi didn’t give him the time of day. Even though he hated seeing the smug bastard, he would not engage. He refused to submit to his weird charms, like the rest of the ship._

_One-oh-One was a dick._

_And Levi crushed dicks. He was looking forward to throwing that smug bastard to the ground and watching that smirk come off his face._

_“Ackerman, you’re up!”_

_Fighting was easy. Fighting came as second nature to Levi. And the fact that he felt One-oh-One's eyes on him the entire time only added fuel to the fire. He knocked out teeth and shattered bones like nobody's business. He ripped tendons and sent his opponent flying over his shoulder, despite his small stature. He was never good at much, but he was good a this. His height and slight build worked to his advantage – these lumbering piles of muscle could not possibly maneuver as quickly as him._

_It was exhilarating, to be given a chance to fight like this without having a guard all his ass. In a weird fucked up way, Levi found peace when he fought._

_Levi was able to take down all of his opponents, sparing less than a minute for the waste of time that was the fight._

_Until he reached his ultimate goal._

_Him._

_"Ready to get your ass handed to you, Blondie?" Levi asked, flexing his fingers as One-oh-One, Smith, as he had just discovered, was his name, stepped up into the ring. The arrogant asshole only smiled, almost as if they were having a polite conversation over brunch._

_“Can you even reach my ass, Shorty?”_

_Oh, it was_ on.

 _Fighting Smith was different. It was… the_ shit _, put in scientific terms. Every movement, every time their bodies made contact, explosive, precise contact, felt like a dance. Jab, block, jab, block, jab, jab, block, block. It pissed Levi off that he couldn’t land a hit on Smith. But then again, Smith’s massive eyebrows furrowed when he realized that Levi wasn’t an easy target either._

_They were way too well matched._

_Levi grit his teeth as he skid around Smith, clenching his fists. His knuckles hurt, and he felt drunk._

_He looked up to see the man towering over him. The bastard was smiling. He was sweaty as fuck, his face was wet with it, but the shit was smiling._

_He tried to wipe the smirk off Smith’s face and missed, scurrying away before Smith had a chance to hit him._

_It went on for what felt like hours – but Levi was having fun, in spite of being irritated to the point of losing it. Smith was good, and Levi was good; neither was better than the other and he hated it._

_It was also the most interesting experience he’d had on this damn ship since arriving._

_“That’s enough, Smith, Ackerman.” The Marshall interrupted. Levi stilled, frozen in a defensive position. He half-expected Smith to attack him despite the order, but Smith stopped immediately, pulling up to stand up straight. Such an obedient boy._

_“Come with me.”_

* * *

“How are you holding up, Levi?”

He sneered, baring his teeth at the blond.

“None of your fucking business, asshole. And don’t call me that.”

Erwin's eyes narrowed minutely, and Levi reveled in it. Finally, something that had thrown him off-balance if only a little bit. The man was a fucking robot. He did everything perfectly, and everyone loved him and God, what wouldn't Levi give for a nice, sharp knife to show him what's what.

“Why not? You can call me Erwin. And I’m just making conversation with my partner. ”

"It's Ackerman, and I'm not your partner," Levi growled.

 _Not yet, at least._ He was not looking forward to seeing the inside of Erwin Smith’s head yet again. This time, permanently. He shuddered to think about it.

* * *

_Blood. Isabel. Farlan._

_More Blood. Kenny. The streets._

_Flashes of red and then –_

_A woman. A woman in a white dress. Nothing special really: two eyes, one nose, one mouth. Long legs. A faint smile on her face._

_Red. Red stained the white dress. Her mouth torn open in a gape of horror._

_Dead. Lying on the floor, her chest carved open._

_Agony. So much blood so much blood so much blood-_

_Levi tore the helmet off, throwing it the ground in disgust. He looked up to see Smith – for once, the bastard wasn’t smiling. He was panting hard, his face splotched with ugly red, eyes rimmed with it too. There were tears on his face, but for once, Levi didn’t feel like celebrating the fact._

_The pain in his chest was faint now, but the reminder was there._

_“Fuck this. Find someone else,” he spat, kicking the helmet aside, and walked out._

* * *

“You know, you might as well be honest with me,” Erwin said. Levi looked up at him wearily.

“We’re going to be paired soon. I’ll see everything you see and hear everything you hear. I’ll even know your thoughts,” Erwin pressed on.

Levi bounded across the small cell, pressing his forearm against Erwin’s throat. That did nothing to unnerve the other prisoner. He just looked up at Levi, his face impassive and eyes earnest.

Blue was becoming Levi’s least favorite color.

“I will _not_ be your partner,” Levi hissed. “Stay the _fuck_ out of my head.”

“You know it will happen, Levi,” Erwin said, a little breathlessly, as Levi pressed down. “You know we’re the best.”

“Fuck that,” Levi growled. “Fuck being the best!”

“Freedom,” Erwin replied. “Don’t you want it?”

“I don’t fucking _care_ , Smith!” Levi roared, pinning the man down and straddling him. He let go of Smith’s throat, his chest heaving with anger. “We’re all gonna rot! All of us!”

“Don’t you want it for humanity, then? Friends, family?”

“All my friends and family are fucking dead,” Levi snapped.

“Then honor their memories,” Erwin whispered. “Do it for Isabel and Farlan.”

_How did he- oh. The drift._

Levi leaned in, so close that their noses were almost touching. He looked Erwin square in the eye.

“Don’t you ever mention their names again, got it? Or I’ll make sure you’re just as pretty covered in blood like that chick you butchered.”

Erwin’s eyes shuttered. His whole body went tense. _Hit a nerve, huh?_ Levi thought to himself smugly.

Before he could celebrate the victory, he was pushed back. Suddenly, his back was pressed against the floor of the cell, and Erwin loomed over him, his face pale and deathly calm, like a mask.

He looked up at Erwin, and for the first time, he felt the real danger radiating off the man. Erwin masked it well – he got along with the guards and even the meanest-looking prisoners because Erwin himself was a monster too, a monster like Levi.

For the first time, Levi saw the beast.

He had wondered how he could have possibly synched with a man as _perfect a_ s Erwin when he was such a dark mess. But at this moment, pressed against the cold floor of the cell, he realized that maybe, just maybe, they could have something in common .

He pushed the man away forcefully, sitting up.

“Whatever. You’ll see,” he said, a stubborn set to his chin. “You’ll see it all, and you’ll run away screaming.”

“You are quite arrogant, Levi,” Erwin said, brushing past him as the door slid open and the guard yelled at them to get out.

“To think that you are the only one who looked Hell in the face.”


	2. The Titans

_ “Congratulations, boys, you two are drift compatible.” _

_ There was an awkward pause as if Shadis expected Levi and Erwin to cheer and bow down in gratitude. Or at least react with something other than completely blank stares and suspicious looks. _

_ “What does this mean, sir?’ Erwin asked politely, breaking the silence. _

_ “It means, Smith, that you and Ackerman will be piloting a Battlestar.”    _

_ The hollowing realization hit Levi right in the stomach, making him feel ill. Fuck this. Fuck this, why now? Why with Smith, of all people? _

_ “So, it means we are going to die a painful death,” Levi scoffed. _

_ Shadis didn’t miss a beat, apparently not very fond of Levi’s answer. _

_ "No, it means that you will have the chance to protect humanity, Ackerman," he barked, looking between the two of them. Levi's eyes narrowed. The man had clearly been informed about Levi's natural resistance to authority, so Shadis turned his face towards Smith more when he spoke. Great. Of course, Smith would- _

_ "I would be honored, Sir." Erwin said with a smile on his face. Of fucking course, he would. Levi rolled his eyes, refusing to look at the blond whose rigidly straight back was giving him a fucking migraine. _

_ Smith seemed like the type too. He wasn’t sure why Shadis seemed so pleasantly surprised with his eagerness, a smile spreading on his wrinkled, scarred lips. Smith had probably been one of those children that had toy Battlestars in his bedroom. _

_ "Yeah, well, I don't really feel like becoming Titan chow, so find someone else," Levi said tersely, jerking his head towards Erwin's general direction. He wasn't about to give the man the time of day, no matter how good their sparring match had been – he still felt his fingertips flood with warmth when he remembered. No. Bad. Ignore it, forget it, kill it with fire. _

_ “Or just let Blondie over here do it. He seems eager to die.” _

_ “Unfortunately, Smith cannot pilot alone, hence the drift compatibility,” Shadis said, heaving a sigh that made it look like he was doing Levi a favor by including him in this suicide mission. Dick. _

_ "Two pilots become one. You both have the highest compatibility ratio. You think alike, fight alike, even have a similar genetic makeup, to some degree. The two of you will make excellent pilots." _

_ "That sounds great and all, and by great, I mean creepy as fuck, so my answer is still no." _

_ Shadis heaved another long-suffering sigh. The man looked so tired that if Levi had been a decent person, he would have almost felt sorry for him. Shadis glanced at Smith, whose face was smooth, free of all emotion; and then back at Levi, whose own expression showed exactly what he thought about this whole affair. _

_ “It may not be in my power to force you into a Battlestar, Ackerman, but it is in my power to offer you a deal,” the Marshall said finally. _

_ At this, Levi actually showed the first hint of interest. _

_ "What type of deal?" He asked skeptically, eyes narrowing. Shadis stepped out from behind his desk and started pacing his office, his teeth buried in his bottom lip. _

_ “Freedom.”   _

_ The word echoed around the room. Freedom? The word sounded strange in Levi’s head. Nobody spoke of freedom out here, in deep space. It was ludicrous to think about it – no matter where you went, it was either prison or death. _

_ "Freedom?" Levi said slowly, tasting the word for the first time in years. It was dangerous to think of things that could never be a reality. _

_ “Earth. Fresh air. Full Pardon. However you want to call it; for your service to humanity I will grant you and Smith Freedom.”    _

_ Shadis continued circling the room, a smirk on his face. Like holding the future of people in his hands was all just a game. Levi bristled at that. Pretentious prick. _

_ “Bullshit. You’d let us leave? Just like that?” _

_ Levi was having a hard time wrapping his head around this. The possibility of Earth made his head spin. But he wasn’t stupid. Nothing was this easy. Strings came attached to everything in this wretched world, and Shadis offering them freedom certainly sounded suspicious as fuck. _

_ “If you fight with valor, yes. If you offer your hearts to the cause and face the Titans, the Wings of Freedom will let you live on Earth.” _

_ Erwin cleared his throat. The first sound he’d made since the news had been sprung on them. _

_ “If I may interject, how long will the tenure last?” _

_ "You will officially be brought on as soldiers of the Wings of Freedom. Therefore, like with all soldiers, Active Duty will be five years. Upon completion, you will be escorted back to Earth. Additionally, if you are injured in battle and deemed unfit for Duty, as long as you have fought well, you will still be granted your pardon." _

_ It sounded too rehearsed, Levi thought to himself; even though his chest pooled with longing. Fuck, he wanted this so badly, he wanted to be out of here, he had never thought it possible but now, it was all he could think about.    _

_ It was tempting, but the idea of syncing again, the idea of being inside Erwin’s mind, Erwin being in his, seeing that woman in white, seeing Isabel and Farlan, it was all too much. It made him nauseated. Levi gripped the chair, his knuckles turning white from squeezing so hard. He wanted the freedom, wanted it more than anything, but not if it meant going through the drift again and again. _

_ Erwin seemed to pick up on Levi unease, casting him a sidelong glance. _

_ “And if Ackerman refuses, is there is no way I can be paired with another soldier?” _

_ "That's not how the drift works," Shadis replied darkly. "If it were, we wouldn't be stuck picking from you worthless prisoners, now, would we?" _

_ Adding fuel to the already raging flame, Levi snapped. _

_ “The reason you are stuck picking from us ‘worthless prisoners’ is because no one else wants to sign up for the suicide brigade. Neither do I.” _

_ Shadis towered over Levi, but the man refused to feel small even if he was, in fact, much shorter than the Marshall. _

_ “You are going to die on this ship, Ackerman. Life sentence, if I read your file correctly. At least die fighting for something good. Or better yet, don’t die. Fight. Kill the Titans. Return to Earth and start over.” _

_ Shadis paused, letting Levi process his words. _

_ “Don’t be an idiot, take the deal.”     _

_ “And if I said yes?” Levi asked, refusing to think of his question as caving, even though he was already feeling the first slivers of doubt crawl into his chest, like a planted seed expecting to grow into a monster. _

_ “You will begin training at once. While under training, you will both remain under incarceration. You will be transferred to a different cell. A shared facility will allow you ample time to bond as partners.” _

_ Whoopdee-do. Bonding with Eyebrows McDouche. _

_ "The stronger the bond, the more reliable the sync," Shadis said, looking at the both of them with a stern expression on his face. He looked a bit like a school teacher, Levi decided. He hated school teachers. Always had. _

_ "After a few missions, once you have proven your worth as soldiers, you will be transferred to the barrack side of the ship. This is more than you deserve. So count your lucky stars." _

* * *

Levi had never been a particularly good student. He had flunked out of high school – not because he was dumb, but because he hated having authority figures looming over him and telling him what to do. He was easily one of the smartest people in this place, too, despite not having had much formal education. Instinct went a long way. But just because Levi could catch on quick didn't mean that he was going to make training easy for the officers… or for his so-called Partner.

Erwin, of course, was the perfect student. He sat in his chair, back straight but somehow still appearing relaxed; he listened attentively to everything that was being said and asked questions that were ridiculously appropriate. Almost as if they were questions from the back of the textbook. Every time Erwin gave a correct answer – Levi gave none at all. _ Pretentious asshole _ was all Levi could think.

Too bad Levi was the only one who saw him for what he was.

“Ackerman, do you even care?”

Levi looked up heavily to the officer lecturing them on military ethics, of all things. Levi didn’t even bother learning his name. Just another person trying to make his life a living hell. A very boring living hell. Nameless Soldier heaved a sigh.

“For all our sakes, I hope Hanji makes better progress with you.”

Before Levi could wonder what the hell a Hanji was, the door hissed, sliding open, to reveal a crazily smiling soldier. They stormed into the room like a hurricane of energy and maniacal positivity and flung themselves over Erwin and his desk.

“So you’re the new blood!” They said, all too loudly, in Levi’s opinion. “Pleasure to meet you! I’m Zoë Hanji.”

Ah. So  _ that  _ was a Hanji.  

“I’m so excited to welcome you the team! Drift compatibility is such an exciting thing! Battlestars are so exciting! This is all very …” Hanji paused, looking for a word.

“Exciting?” Erwin supplied.

“Yes! I’m so glad you agree!”

“I don’t,” Levi mumbled, looking at the demented officer with disdain. Hanji glanced at him.

“You must be Ackerman, then. I’ve heard all about you! I saw footage of your fight! And the neural statistics, you guys are amazing! You two are so well-matched-,”

“We’re not equals,” Levi growled defensively. “If that’s what you’re trying to say.”

“Oh, but you are perfectly in balance with each other,” Hanji said. “That’s rare. That’s, like, super rare, that’s the reason why the program is so small. You two are, for the lack of a better word, soulmates!”

“Please do find a better word,” Levi groaned. He couldn’t stand the thought of Erwin being his  _ anything-mate _ . Levi had never been much to believe in destiny or fated meetings, and he was definitely not going to start with Erwin  _ Perfect Hair _ Smith.    

“Okay, ixnay on the oultmatesay.”

“What?”

“It’s Pig Latin!”  

“Well can you keep your weird animal Latin away from me,” Levi mumbled. Erwin just looked amused. Asshole.   

“True, true! Getting off topic,” Hanji said hurriedly, looking more and more hyper by the minute. Levi was seriously wondering whether they were actually having a seizure.

“Need to skip straight to the good stuff. Titans! Glorious, mysterious Titans. I’m here to teach you all about them,” they said, clapping their hands together. Now, that was disturbing, Levi decided. Hanji looked more and more like the type to pickle baby heads with every passing moment.

“And that is my cue to leave. Go easy on them.”

Levi totally forgot that boring ethics soldier was still in the room. He didn’t even bother looking at the man whereas Erwin waved at him. What the fuck was his damage?

“Thank you for your help today, sir.”

Ever the kissass. The soldier departed, leaving Erwin and Levi alone with the deranged Titan-loving freak.

“Okay! Now that you are all mine. Let’s talk Titans!”

“Let’s not talk like we’re in pre-school,” Levi muttered. “I’m fucking twenty-eight, I don’t need you-,”

“Oh, sorry, you just look so  _ young _ ,” Hanji replied with a shit-eating grin. Levi clenched his fists, catching Erwin’s eye.  _ Either of you, say something about my height, I dare you _ .

"Anyway," Hanji said, turning towards the whiteboard. "Titans are organisms who came out of nowhere and started attacking the Earth. Their first attack happened in 2068, followed by mass military scrambling. That was how the first Battlestars were born. More about that later."

“Basically, we can’t communicate with them, and they either can’t or won’t speak with us. So our only option is force,” Hanji said, looking actually  _ sorry  _ about the fact that they couldn’t sit down and have a lemonade with a genocidal space creature.

"We know they have different body types, and we've seen two. There are the raiders, which are the ones we see most out here in space," Hanji said, switching on the screen to show a picture of what looked like an ordinary (but pretty badass-looking, in Levi's opinion) spacecraft.

“Do they sit inside?” Erwin asked, leaning in with interest.

“No, Smith,” Hanji said, seemingly pleased that Erwin was curious. “They  _ are  _ the raider. There is an organic body fused with the metal exterior. Kind of cool, huh? We know they have a semblance of a cardiovascular system, and by disrupting that, we can make them go down. Or we can just target the brain, located here, at the head of the ship."

"Then there's the walkers. Pretty unoriginal name, if you ask me, but those are the ones the witnesses of the first attack on earth saw. Giant humanoid creatures who wrecked buildings and ate people," Hanji said, apparently enthralled by the topic. Levi shuddered inwardly.

“How much do you know about Battlestars?” Hanji asked with a twinkle in their eyes.

“That they are too dumb to be powered by one pilot?” Levi replied sarcastically.

"No no no no no! Battlestars are incredibly advanced and highly intelligent pieces of technology. They require two pilots because the neural load and mental strength needed to control them puts too much strain on one individual. When the Battlestars were first designed, it was with one user in mind. However, the upload proved too much for the brain and KABOOM!"

Hanji mimicked an explosion with a little laugh, yet Levi could not find anything funny with his brain being theoretically turned into a firework display.   

"Don't worry. The upload process is completely safe now."

“What exactly is the upload?” Erwin asked. “Is that  what we did together earlier?”

“That was the drift, and it is only part of it,” Hanji replied with a broad grin. “The upload is so much more! It’s the beautiful moment where machine and human become one!”

"The Titans being as advanced as they are, we needed an advanced counterattack. Meaning, we needed to react fast. We essentially need the Battlestars to react at the same time as a human. That split-second in which the pilot receives the stimulus, and then acts, is too slow. So, we removed controls. Making it essentially instant. The Battlestar feeds off your thoughts."

“So there’s no control panel? Just thoughts?”

“Precisely. You control the Battlestars with your mind, well,  _ minds _ ! Cool, right?!”  

“And this is where the sync comes into play?” Erwin said.

“Precisely! You become the two hemispheres of the Battlestar’s brain! Separate, but together,” Hanji said with a grin. “Your thoughts fuse and your heads work as one!”

“The… memories, the stuff we saw during the drift...” Erwin began, unsure.

“You will see it all,” Hanji said. “Not sequentially, just bits and pieces, basically, and as far as we can tell, they are either random or particularly emotional memories.”

“So he can go digging through my head?” Levi burst out.

“You got something to hide?” Erwin shot back sarcastically.

“There’s no digging involved,” Hanji said quickly, to stop the argument from blowing up. “You will literally  _ drift  _ through each other’s memories. You can’t control what you see or go deeper, even if you wanted to. It’s just the way the brains sync up.” 

“I’m guessing we cannot control what we want the other person to see either?” Erwin asked. Hanji shook their head.

“No, and we discourage chasing those memories strongly. The goal is to reach harmony with each other, not dig through one’s own past,” they said, righting their glasses. “That is perhaps the hardest part of the process, simply because it does elicit strong emotional responses.” 

“This is why we used to get a lot of sibling and relatives co-pilots at the start. It’s also the reason why many partners end up emotionally involved with each other. As I said, the stronger the bond, the better the fight!”   

“This is all so fascinating,” Erwin breathed, looking genuinely into this. Levi shuddered. 

“You mean sickening,” he mumbled. 

“I mean sharing a brain is less than ideal but if it’s for–,” 

“Let me guess, if it’s for  _ humanity _ , you’ll do it? You are starting to get predictable, Smith,” Levi cut him off, rolling his eyes. He realized that was a pattern with them – ever since he had come in close contact with Erwin Smith, his eye roll had been pretty much perfected. 

Hanji aw’ed. 

“How perfect, you are already finishing each other's sentences! Even without a drift. I am _ so _ excited to be working with you!” 

Clearly Hanji, as intelligent as they appeared, had yet to learn the skill of detecting sarcasm.    

“I still don’t see how either of us can benefit from this mind melt fuckery,” Levi said moodily, crossing his arms in front of his chest. Hanji hummed thoughtfully, and then, to Levi’s horror, their face lit up. 

“Okay, okay, I have an idea! Only way to learn is through demonstration, right? I should just introduce you to Mike and Nanaba! They are serious legends out in the field! If we’re lucky, you might just see a sync!” 

* * *

The hangar bay was a strange place. It was surprisingly noisy, filled with sounds of people talking, yelling, tinkering about with the equipment. Levi couldn’t help but look around curiously.

“Ah, right, this is your first time seeing a Battlestar up close, right?” Hanji asked, grinning at the two of them. Levi did feel a little caught up in the excitement of it all. He glanced at the large machine that was being painted and repaired. 

It was big, yes; but he couldn’t imagine two people fitting inside comfortably. Especially people like Erwin, who were fucking  _ huge  _ for no fucking reason. 

“This one’s the  _ Mikasa _ ,” Hanji said fondly, patting the wing of the starship. “She’s been in service for over two decades. Can you believe that? Still good as new.” 

Levi  _ could  _ actually believe that; some of the material covering the wings and the aft of the jet seemed to be peeling – that couldn’t be good, considering the outer layer was supposed to be resistant to heat and cold, as well as protect the pilots from the vast vacuum of space outside. One tiny crack could send both fighters to a frozen imploding hell.  

“Mike! Nababa! Just the people I wanted to see!” Hanji started waving their hands frantically trying to get the attention of two blond pilots, both clad in full uniform, their helmets under their arms. One of them was very tall, and had a mustache that was carefully treading the borderline of creepy, while the other had soft, straw-colored hair and a kind, but easily forgettable face. 

The two approached Hanji’s little tour party, looking at Erwin and Levi curiously. 

“Hanji, good to see you! It’s been ages since you’ve visited the hangar deck. Who are these fellas?” The girl, Nanaba, Levi assumed, asked, smiling. She had a nice smile. The kind of smile that if Levi were even remotely interested in girl, he would definitely take note of. 

“These are future pilots Ackerman and Smith, our two new hopefuls for the Battlestar program!” Hanji announced excitedly. “I’m just here to show them what you guys do in the cockpit.” 

_ They said cock,  _ Levi thought to himself, taking satisfaction in his juvenile thought process. 

“Welcome aboard, thanks for the joining the fight!” Nanaba said, stretching her arm out in greeting. Erwin took it, shaking enthusiastically with the practiced ease of a seasoned businessman. Levi wondered briefly if that was who Erwin had been in his previous life, before he’d gotten himself locked up. 

“We can use all the brave soldiers we can get. Name’s Nanaba, and this is my partner, Mike.” 

Mike stuck out his hand to Levi. Levi just stared at it. It was there, waiting to be taken and shaken. In greeting? He hadn’t been shown this kind of respect since… .well,  _ never. _

People only stretched out their hands to him with the intention of fighting. 

Erwin came to the rescue (or Levi was pretty sure that was how Erwin thought of himself – his white knight in shining space armor, ready to save the day with his impeccable social skills and charming smile) taking the lead, and shook Mike’s hand too. 

“Smith, nice to meet you both.”     

“You know we are prisoners, right? Forced into this? You don’t need to act all nice. So just quit it with the fucking manners,” Levi blurted out. He couldn’t help it. Why was no one addressing the elephant in the room? Why were they being  _ nice _ ? To prisoners, of all people. 

_ “ _ Not in here, you aren’t. You are soldiers, and as long you help us fight, you’ll have our respect,” Mike said, albeit a little stiffly. 

“I didn’t volunteer for this,” Levi said darkly. “I was volunteered forcefully. Neither did I get to pick my partner, because it sure as hell wouldn’t have been this piece of work.” 

Erwin rolled his eyes at him. 

“Maybe you will come to like me as we get to know each other,” he said. Levi couldn’t tell whether he was being serious or not, so he just returned with the lamest comeback. 

“Bite me, Smith.” 

Nanaba laughed. “You two are just like we used to be.” 

Levi doubted it. 

“When we first met, we couldn’t  _ stand  _ each other, no matter what the numbers said. That was back on Earth, in the police corps. After that, the most logical step was getting into the war.” 

Levi frowned. 

“You enrolled by yourselves?” 

Nanaba nodded. “Never regretted it.” 

“But why sign up willingly for this suicide mission of a job?” However he looked at it, there were no upsides. You spent the rest of your short life in someone else’s head, fighting aliens who had no interest in feelings or being humane; and then you died, probably in an explosion which vented your remains into outer space. 

Mike and Nanaba just shared a look.  

“Well, we want a world where we can raise a child,” Nanaba said, clearly aware of the fact that sentiment wasn’t exactly what made Levi sway in his position.  

“Oh, so you are together? How sweet,” Levi said sarcastically. “You can die on the same day.” 

Nanaba ignored him.

“We’ve been together for almost ten years now. Married for five,” she said, glancing at Mike. “We just want to make the world a safer place; and a safer place means a world without Titans. Simple math.”

“You’re doing all that for a kid you might not-,” 

“Team Zacharius, you’re up!” Someone called, and Mike and Nanaba hurriedly excused themselves.

“Here it comes!” Hanji said excitedly, putting an arm around Levi’s shoulders, which he quickly removed, watching the two blonds climb into the test craft.   

“Alright Team Zacharius, this is just a calibration test. Gear-up,” a voice on the loudspeaker projected.  

Levi watched in fascination as helmets and armour were fastened to them.  

“Preparing for Neural Handshake in fifteen seconds.”   

The helmets filled themselves with yellow goo, the same yellow goo that took Levi thirty minutes to clean off him last time they synced.

“Five seconds… Four… Three… Two… One. Neural Handshake initiated. Preparing for drift.” 

From Levi’s perspective it did not look like much but then–

“Synchronization complete. Neural connection holding and strong. Left hemisphere calibrated.” 

As Mike swung his left arm, Nanaba swung hers at the same time. 

“Right hemisphere calibrated.” 

As Nanaba swung her arm, Mike’s own arm followed the motion with no delay. They were the same person.  

But what shook Levi the most wasn’t the synchronized motions, but how  _ calm _ they looked. They both seemed so relaxed. And maybe it was because it was just a test, but even so, they had no problems being in each others head. They were  _ smiling _ , both of them wearing identical relaxed grins on their faces.

It was creepy. 

Levi felt kind of jealous. How could someone stuck in this dump of a cruiser look so content?  

“Okay, Team, prepare for launch! One quick loop around the station should be fine. Opening airlock.”  

Levi blinked, and the Battlestar was already out the hangar.   

* * *

“Cool, right?” Hanji said dreamily as the two of them watched Mike and Nanaba depart through the airlock. “How about you give it a go?”

Erwin looks at Levi with excitement in his eyes, and for once Levi doesn't roll his eyes at him. For once, Levi actually feels like he might be okay with this. Just a tad. The idea of that speed excited him, Team Zacharius had looked like they were flying. Really flying, with no need for the Battlestar to support them. Like they themselves were the only wings they needed. Their connection, their bond. Their freedom. 

He wanted that. From spending years crumpled up, treated like cattle, Levi wanted to fly.

“What do you say, Ackerman?” Erwin asked cockily. Levi looked up at him challengingly. 

“Suit up, Smith.”  

* * *

The collar of the helmet around his neck was a hindrance. The weight of it on his shoulders made it so much more difficult to clear his mind. He could hear Erwin’s breathing, magnified by the tubes connected to the helmets.

He was sweating his balls off in this uniform, too. 

“Now, close your eyes and release all the tension you have. Focus on your bond.” 

Levi closed his eyes, actually trying for once. 

Bonding. With Eyebrows. 

Right. 

That should be easy. They did this before. 

Except it wasn’t. 

Minutes dragged on sluggishly, but they were still there, fully present in the hangar deck. Levi’s legs were beginning to cramp up in the small space. 

“Are you two bonding and focusing?” Hanji’s voice rang out through the speaker. “Listen, you both did this before and had incredible connectivity scores! The only thing holding you back is fear. The drift can’t hurt you!”

Levi closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. 

Nothing. 

“Just relax!” Came Hanji’s booming voice. 

Erwin grumbled something next to him, something along the lines of,  _ you try relaxing when you feel like a sardine.  _ Levi smiled in spite of himself.  

Maybe they did see eye-to-eye in some situations –

Levi’s body lurched forward minutely, and then, all of a sudden, it almost seemed to cease to exist. His mind was assaulted with images – many different pictures and sounds and smells; this was so much more powerful than the first drift. He was starkly aware of the fact that none of these memories were his, but the more he sifted through them, the more he let go of his own identity, allowing it all to crash over him in waves. 

There she was again. The girl in the white dress, front and center in his consciousness. Unlike the first time, she was alive. Smiling. Laughing. Large hands swam into view – Erwin’s hands – and pressed against the white cloth draped over her stomach. 

Her pregnant stomach. 

Levi watched, bile in his throat, as Erwin kissed it, a serene smile on his face.  _ I’m going to be a father,  _ the elated thought came, and he knew it wasn’t his own, because he hated brats, but at that moment his chest flooded with warmth. 

Another jolt sent him crashing back into his own head. He sat there, panting, afraid to look back and see the expression on Erwin’s face. Before he could say anything, though, his temples throbbed and he hurtled back down the rabbit hole. 

This time, he watched helplessly as dark shadows danced on the walls of the hut he’d used to share with his mother. He watched, along with Erwin, as his five-year-old self discovered the mysteries of sex, aided by Kuchel Ackerman and a myriad of ever-changing customers. He felt himself shake, his body no longer that of his older self, but the tiny, emaciated form of a child, slumped in the corner of the room, trembling, terrified.  _ The bad man is hurting mommy. Mommy is shouting. Mommy needs help.  _ His limbs were leaden, he couldn’t move from fear. He heard her scream fakely, eyes closed in feigned ecstasy, her back arching–

“Get out! Out! OUT!” 

It took him a moment to realize that it was him screaming. Twitching in the seat of the training Battlestar, his throat hoarse. His mouth tasted like bile. 

When he did realize where he was, he started clawing at his neck in a struggle to remove his helmet. He couldn’t find the latch, he couldn’t reach it, fuck, the metal pressing into his throat, he felt like he was going to throw up and choke on his own vomit–

_ Need to get out. Need to get out. Need to get out. _

Finally, the pressure around his neck eased and he ripped the helmet off, to sounds of warning alerts and shouts of the techies. The helmet slipped out of his numb fingers, clattering to the floor. Somewhere, faintly, he thought he heard Erwin’s voice. It was so much quieter than his mother’s screams, though; so much fainter than the sight of her legs on some man’s shoulders, her face red with shame and exertion, fragile limbs shaking with the strain of supporting the man’s weight. 

Levi climbed unsteadily out of the craft and collapsed to his knees on the floor, ignoring Hanji’s hands on his shoulders, shaking him, trying to awaken him. All he saw was that hut, all he felt was shame, terror; he felt sick, but couldn’t even  _ be  _ sick. 

His strength gave out. 

The last thing he saw and felt was Erwin’s arms around him, cradling him on the cold paved hangar floor.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [haganenoheichou's vision for what the Battlestars would look like](https://ibb.co/bLbVbQ)


	3. The Transfer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> traumaticteacups: Shit's about to get real. 
> 
> haganenoheichou: 6K words of real.

“Good morning, sleepyhead.”

Levi’s eyes opened slowly – it took more strength out of him than usual. He felt disoriented; his head heavy and his mouth cottony. It seemed as though he had slept for a very long time but he didn’t feel rested at all. Levi was having difficulty piecing together his surroundings. There had been a drift... and he'd seen his mother and... Smith. Fuck. Smith had seen it all. It was just a memory, yet it had felt so real. And Smith had been there to witness every painful second.

As what had happened was starting to become clearer, he realized that he was lying not in bed or on the dingy mattress that served as his bed in the cell he shared with Erwin. He was lying on something much softer.

Levi tried to sit up but he couldn't – leather straps were binding him to the mattress. Right. He was still a prisoner. That much was evident. He managed to turn his head groggily.

“Don’t move yet. I need to check you over first.”

The voice was familiar. Recently familiar, too.

“H-Hanji…?”

“I’m flattered you remember my name, pilot,” the bespectacled officer chirped, finally swimming into view. Levi blinked several times, chasing away the last of his grogginess. Fuck, this was like the worst hangover known to man.

"You had a bit of an overload. Nothing to worry about. Happens to the best of us."

“Wasn’t… overload,” Levi groaned, shifting a little so that he could see Hanji better. “I didn’t want him… in my head. He… saw shit I didn’t… want him to see.”

Hanji frowned, pulling up Levi’s brain scans.

“Looks like this is all in order,” the muttered, turning back towards their reluctant patient. “You know, trust is pretty essential to this bond–,”

“Good luck with that,” Levi spat. “If he doesn’t stay out of my head–,”

“He was here for hours, you know.”

Levi’s eyes widened. He looked at Hanji, grimacing as the words forcibly formed into meaningful messages in his clogged-up brain.

“What?”

"He sat here, by your bedside, for hours, before the wardens dragged him out. Didn't want to leave you," Hanji said with a small smile as they unclasped the restraints around Levi's wrists, allowing him to sit up slowly. "He was kind of concerned, wanted to make sure you were okay."

“The fuck?” Levi huffed. “He probably wanted to make sure I was dead enough so he could get a new partner or something.”

“You know that’s not how this works, Levi. Partners bond for life,” Hanji said seriously. “It’s not something that can be broken or replaced. And you knew what the drift entailed. Knew about the sync so why did you freak out when –,”

"Have you done it?" Levi asked, cutting the officer off yet again. Hanji stopped, looking at him solemnly. He lifted an eyebrow. "Have you done it? The drift is a lot worse than what it looks like on fucking paper. Have you had a partner in your life, Hanji? One that's seen the inside of your brain? Because from where I'm sitting, you're a lot of talk, but you do  _ jack squat–,” _

"I was never drift-compatible with anyone," Hanji murmured. They turned back to their work, busying themselves with Levi's IV. "And there's not a day that passes when I don't think about it. That I don't have someone who's  _ perfect  _ for me. Someone who can make me fly.”

Levi snorted. “How poetic. You almost made me cry.”

Hanji sighed, taking Levi’s chart and dropping it onto the table.

“You are an ass, prisoner Ackerman,” they said, giving Levi a look of disdain – from where he was sitting, it was a nice change to their irritating cheeriness.

“You’re all clear. Return to your cell.”

Levi smirked at Hanji as he sat up. So he could strike a nerve, couldn’t he? Good. He was going to file that bit of knowledge away in his mind and whip it out when he needed to.

“Yes… _ sir _ ,” he said, saluting Hanji mockingly. The guard on duty pushed him towards the door, and Levi went willingly, wanting nothing more than to get out of Hanji’s sight. Four-eyes was way too nice and way too familiar with him. He didn’t like it.

Too bad that Erwin was going to be even more so; considering the freak subscribed to this whole bonding business. Levi was going to have to set him straight.

That plan went out the window when he stepped into the cell. As the door slammed shut behind him, he found himself with Erwin right in his face and his enormously large hands on his shoulders.

“You’re alright!” Erwin’s smile was too big.

Levi pushed him aside, glancing around. It was evident the man had been in bed – there was an open book on his pillow, and his sheets were a mess.

"No thanks to you," the shorter prisoner mumbled, sitting down on his mattress. He took off his boots, throwing them into the corner of the cell carelessly.

Erwin frowned at him, but Levi chose to ignore the annoying blond in favor of a much more interesting subject: the ceiling. He heard Erwin move back to his bed and sit down, the mattress groaning beneath his weight.

"I was worried about you, you know," Erwin murmured. "You collapsed so suddenly after taking off the helmet; I thought there was something seriously wrong."

Levi let out a laugh.

“No, I just wanted you to get the hell out of my head. And it worked, didn’t it?”

“You fried the circuits on the board.”

“Good.”

Erwin sighed audibly, glancing at Levi with a look of disappointment.  It irritated Levi that Erwin felt the right to look at him like that. Like he expected  _ more _ out of him.  He agreed to pilot to get a pardon, nothing else.

"There's nothing good about that," Erwin said, frowning. "We can do really good work, Levi, if you just trust me."

"Not as far as I could spit, Gigantor," Levi protested. "You're annoying, and you smell bad, and frankly? The idea of you in my head makes me feel sick."

“We don’t have to talk about it, you know.”

Levi turned his head at that, surprised by the quiet comment. His eyes met Erwin's, and for a moment, he was just a little… lost. Erwin's face bore a strange expression. It was open, almost defenseless – and that made Levi want to trust him even less. Erwin Smith didn't open up to people; not really. It wasn't like Levi had been watching him all those months leading up to this moment (because he totally hadn't been, that would've been creepy as hell), but he'd noticed a pattern with Erwin. He would open up just enough to seem like an accessible, down-to-Earth (so to speak) kind of guy, but then he would withdraw. Or rather, remain at the same level of openness, a superficial, cheery kind of transparency that left others with zero information about him, all the while spilling their secrets left and right.

This wasn’t going to work on Levi.

“You’re bluffing,” he said, frowning. “Aren’t you fucking dying to get your hands on some juicy details about why I’m so fucked up?”

Erwin lifted an eyebrow.

“Don’t flatter yourself. You’re not that interesting, Levi.”

Levi took personal offense to that. He was  _ plenty  _ interesting. He just didn't want the idiot to rifle through his innermost thoughts and feelings.

“I bet you’re still curious.”

"I can control myself. If I said I wouldn't pry, I won't."

Levi eyed him suspiciously.

“And you want nothing in return for that?”

“Just that you extend the same courtesy to me,” Erwin replied. “There are things in my past I wouldn’t want to discuss either.”

_ Like the chick in the white dress,  _ Levi mused. He looked at Erwin, studying him for signs of insincerity. Finding none, he forced himself to relax a little.  

“Believe it or not,” Erwin continued. “I'm not a fan of the sync either. I just want us to do some good for humanity. So let's try and get along, long enough for us to be granted a pardon and get off this ship.”

Levi bit his lip, hesitating for a moment. Something about Erwin made him want to trust him on this. And he didn't like knowing that. There were very few people in this universe whom Levi trusted; most of them were dead.

“Fine,” he said, clearing his throat. “We’ll try it your way. But if you go looking for info, we’re done. Got it?”

Erwin cracked a smile.

“Agreed.”  

* * *

"Just try and breathe this time, Levi," Hanji said over the loudspeaker. He and Erwin were sitting, fully suited up, in their Battlestar . The repairs to the control board had been fixed, and it wasn't as if they could delay this anymore.

“Yeah, yeah. I know. No freak-outs. Just shut up and do your science crap,” Levi grumbled. Erwin chuckled next to him. Levi’s eye twitched.

"I'll keep my word, Levi," Erwin said, his voice warm and apparently tuned perfectly to make Levi feel  _ safe _ . “So, just remember what Hanji said. Drift through it, don't latch on.”

“Who died and made you the instructor?” Levi mumbled.

"Hopefully, nobody will die today," Hanji said over the loudspeaker. Levi rolled his eyes.

"It's a fucking test run. If someone dies, it's because your Battlestars are broken, and it's on you."

“Okay, Mr. Grumpy Pants. Ready for sync?”

“Roger that,” Erwin said into the microphone. His speech sounded way too loud in Levi’s ears.

“Levi?”

“Let's get  this over with.”

“Levi,” Hanji drawled.

Levi sighed.

“Roger that.”

“Okay, initiating synchronization in five seconds,” Hanji chirped. Levi closed his eyes, trying to force himself to relax.

“Five… Four...”

“Three…” Levi grabbed the edges of his seat.

“Two…” He took a deep breath.

“One.” And prepared for the worst.

* * *

_ “Big bro! Big bro! A bird with a broken wing! We have to take it home and care for it. We just have to!”  Red hair. A bright, wide grin. Missing a tooth. Wide green eyes. A sunny day.      _

_ “Erwin, it’s such a beautiful sunny day. Why don't you take a break from work and come join me for a walk?” Brown hair. A warm smile. An outstretched hand.   _

"Synchronization completed. Neural handshake firm and holding. Congratulations, boys."

Levi felt warmth flood him – and he knew that it wasn’t all his. But instead of panic, what set in was a strange kind of calmness; the kind he had never felt before. It was as if he were in a bath that was just the right temperature, surrounded by fragrant bubbles, immersed in the experience of being… at peace.

At peace with himself and with… who was it again?

Ah. Erwin. He felt Erwin’s presence in his head – in their head. Unsure of what to do, he reached out – and felt Erwin reach out as well.  

“Okay boys, let's just take her out for a lap around the station. I need you to get back to the present,” Hanji’s voice suddenly interrupted the bliss, making Levi frown. He felt Erwin frown as well. At least they were on the same page there.

He made an effort and slowly, his vision swam back into his consciousness – except it wasn’t just his. Suddenly, it was all… very wide-angle. Erwin’s eyes were his now too. The two of them looked around the hangar deck, their collective minds pooling in together to remind them of where they were.

“Test out what this baby can do, boys.”

Levi didn’t know how – he had barely skimmed the manual, but then he felt the knowledge just slide into his mind, interrupting his anxious train of thought.  _ Of course _ , he thought, feeling Erwin’s smugness through the connection.  _ Of course, the fucking overachiever read the damn thing cover to cover. _

_ Knowing how to pilot a giant machine that can easily kill us, is not overachieving. It's safety.  _ The thought came as his but obviously wasn't.

_ Fuck. _

Slowly, the Battlestar began to move as the two of them concentrated on it. It was a bit like moving a limb after it had fallen asleep, Levi decided. Gently did it, and soon enough, they were out on the launch tarmac.

“Floor it.”

Before Levi knew it, they were gaining momentum, speeding down the tarmac, the rush of the air in the tube the only thing distracting him from the thrill of the speed. He felt Erwin’s enjoyment through the bond and responded with his own.

The airlock slid open, parting to reveal the vastness of space.

And then…

they were out.

It was overwhelming.

Even though Levi had been stuck in space for years, he felt like this was the first time he'd ever seen it. Really seen it.

It was dark. And visibly silent. There was no end in sight - something Levi knew already; but being out here, locked in a tiny capsule, two minds steering one ship, put it into perspective. In the distance, he couldn’t quite tell how far because of the sheer vastness of it, he saw stars. Space debris. Trash too. Things floating around.

Weightless. Carefree.

He found himself not wanting to leave.

_ I agree... It's beautiful. _

_ Didn’t ask you,  _ Levi responded, but it came out sounding almost fond. He felt Erwin’s amusement wash over him, and he leaned into it instinctively. He was human, after all; and he sought comfort, just like any other. What happened in sync, stayed in sync; they had agreed to that.

“Boys, how about you give those guns a try too?”

Levi really wished Hanji had a more pleasant voice. It cut through the blissful silence of space, making him slam back into reality. He sighed moodily.

_ They won’t let us catch a break, will they?  _ Erwin's laughed echoed in his ears, and Levi allowed himself to release some of the tension again. It was okay because they were in control of this.

_ Let’s do this, then,  _ Levi said.  _ I wonder what’s for lunch. _

_ Gruel,  _ came Erwin’s reply. Levi snorted amusedly.

_ How can you be so sure? _

_ It’s always gruel. _

_ So we’re not even gonna get a First Flight cake?  _ Levi asked, knowing he had a broad smile on his face. Erwin's amusement echoed his, and the two of them grabbed controls of the guns.

_ Ready? _

_ Ready. _

They fired. Perfectly in sync, too, they fired the guns, making Hanji squeal in delight over into their ears.

_ Makes me want to turn the guns on the ship,  _ Levi thought.

_ Behave,  _ Erwin chuckled into his mind.

"Great, guys! That's it for today!" Hanji called. Levi stilled. Already? He felt Erwin was just as disappointed as he was. They had barely ventured outside, and now it was over?

This couldn’t be it.

“Bring in the cat, guys! You got some great stats on this, better not push it. We’re waiting for you on deck!”

When Levi stepped out of the Battlestar, not five minutes later, and took his helmet off, he knew that the smile on his face was identical to Erwin’s.

* * *

Syncs didn't become  _ easier _ , but they did become routine. Sync after sync. Week after week. They got better and faster at it; their memories melding together seamlessly with every round. Levi found it much easier to embrace Erwin’s memories as his own when time went by, just letting them pass over him, like waves in the ocean.

He now knew what the ocean felt like, thanks to Erwin’s memories.

Of course, there were things he was still curious about. That woman. The woman in white he kept seeing every single time. He never asked, though. Privacy. Erwin’s business, his own business. What happened in sync, stayed in sync. That became a new mantra for him, even when he was itching to find out more.

But he couldn't stop thinking about her. Erwin had loved her. That much was apparent from all the memories, had  _ felt _ that love. But that image of his… lover, wife, whatever she was, covered in blood, stomach butchered to ribbons, would be forever ingrained in his mind.

Was Erwin even capable of doing such a thing?   

_ Killing his unborn child? _

Levi had realized during the first days of their syncing that Erwin was… well, destructive, when he wanted to be. But he was also gentle. Gentler than anyone had ever been with him. There were things Erwin did that were strangely endearing, like the way he sniffled before falling asleep or the way he scooped the raisins out of his porridge every time the mess hall served it, pushing them to the edge of his plate. Levi hated how he knew all these things about him. There was a folder stored inside his brain, labeled  _ Fun Facts About Eyebrows _ , that he couldn't delete. And all of these _ fun facts _ just didn’t… correlate with being a murderer. Levi  _ knew _ murderers. He  _ was _ a murderer. And Erwin just didn't fit the mold.

Erwin was polite, even to a fault. Well-spoken. Classy, in a way that no other prisoner on this ship was. He spoke in long sentences and used complicated words – ones that Levi understood, for the most part; but nobody talked like that on board a space prison. Levi would know – he had been on quite a few of those.

It was that intrigue, as well as the foreign, almost dog-like dependence he felt around Erwin, that encouraged their closeness even outside of the missions.

Erwin was kind. The kindness that Levi thought he was faking was  _ real _ . Sync after sync Levi would see a different memory. Erwin as a child. Erwin as an awkward teenager, the math professor's son, envied and hated by all because of that. Bullied and beaten, but never once hitting back.  Erwin graduating school with honors and delivering an inspiring, nonsensical speech. Erwin quitting his first job at a diner to take care of his sick mother. Erwin poring over accounting textbooks at the university.

For gods’ sakes, Erwin was an  _ accountant.  _ Accountants didn’t kill people.

_ But, apparently, they did. And now Erwin was here, flying out on life-threatening missions instead of balancing books.  _ Levi wanted to ask why that was, but he knew the rules. Erwin had yet to break his end of the deal. If anyone had a dark past that needed discussing, it was Levi. While Erwin’s memories had showcased his compassion and intellect, Levi's had showcased his lack thereof. Sync after sync, Levi was forced to rewatch painful lessons he’d learned along the way. His uncle Kenny teaching him how to use a knife. Levi spending hours trying to wash blood out of clothes. His first kill. His last kill.

Yet Erwin mentioned none of it. He didn't run away screaming; he continued to stand by his side. Perhaps this sort of unconditional presence was what Levi had needed. Either way, he wasn’t about to mention that to Erwin.

Another thing changed gradually as well – with their growing closeness, their distance in relation to the other prisoners grew. More and more, Levi was beginning to notice nasty glares and snide remarks sent their way. Erwin saw it too, as his cronies had stopped following him around when he and Levi had begun to take their meals together. Erwin never said anything though, pretending not to pay it mind.

“They’re jealous,” Levi said one evening as they ate their rationed sausages and mystery goo, which he guessed to be mashed potato. He felt the eyes on his back burning holes into his shirt – his crisp,  _ new  _ shirt, as opposed to those of the other prisoners. He had been issued a pilot’s uniform. Erwin, too, of course.

In other words, the Commanding Officer’s might as well have painted huge red bull’s eyes on their backs.

“Ignore them,” Erwin murmured.

“Look who it is. How nice of you to grace us with your presence,” someone said. Levi looked up to see a fellow prisoner there. He couldn't place a name on the man’s face, but he had seen him around. Blond hair, big build. Always one to get in fights.  

"Heard Titan killing is going well for you guys. Still not dead. Impressive."  The man moved closer to their table, drawing the attention of other inmates.

“And who are you again?” Levi asked, irritated at the interruption.

"Braun. Reiner Braun," the man replied, slamming his hand down on the table.  _ How extra can you get? _

“Right.”

“Berthold and I were just as compatible as you were,” Reiner said, pushing closer. Levi could smell his breath. “We could have flown.”

“You didn’t,” Erwin said, looking up at the man. Reiner frowned at him, and then bent down, way too close for comfort.

Levi kept looking down at his plate, refusing to take the bait; trying to remain calm. Ignoring shit like this had never been his forte: rage and fists were more up his alley.

“You know, we all have bets on how long till you become Titan food.”

Levi went to stand, ready to show this guy who the actual Titan food would be, but Erwin put his hand over his own, grounding him. He hated that Erwin’s presence calmed him this much. He looked up at the blond, reading the silent, _ no, don’t let it get to you  _ in his eyes. Weird how Levi felt like he could read Erwin’s mind without the Sync.

“How cute, boyfriend over here going to battle your fights for you?”    

Levi snatched his hand away from Erwin's as if burnt.

“Enjoy the special treatment while you can. If you think you'll survive till you are pardoned, well... I guess you are as stupid as you look.” He paused, straightening out. He took a step away, and then stopped, turning his head.

“You be careful out there. It would be a shame if we had to fill in for you.”

The man walked away then, leaving Levi feeling uneasy. He stabbed his spoon into the mystery sludge to vent his anger.

“What the fuck was that?” Levi asked. He glanced up at Erwin, his eyes narrowed.

“I told you before, they are just jealous,” Erwin replied, his tone perfectly even. It was pretty damn infuriating. “They probably want to become pilots to get off this ship, too. ”

“No, not that asshole,” Levi growled. “I’m talking about the other blonde asshole, the one sitting right in front of me.”

Erwin frowned in confusion.

“ _ You! _ I don’t need you fucking  _ babying  _ me. I can fight my own battles,” the shorter man said, making Erwin sigh in exasperation.

"I know you are capable of fighting, Levi. But you can't do that anymore. We have a chance to get out of here, don't just throw that away."

Levi clenched and uncleaned his fists, desperately wanting to punch Erwin square in the jaw just to prove a point. But he knew he was right, and he  _ hated  _ that he was right. Frustrated, Levi left the mess hall, his dinner practically untouched.

* * *

Things only went downhill after that encounter with Braun. Gossip traveled fast on this tin can, and Levi knew it wasn't long before they would have to suffer for their achievements. Erwin, on the other hand, seemed strangely unfazed by the threats they had received. It concerned Levi – but he knew that both Erwin and he could hold their own if they needed to. Sometimes, his thoughts strayed to what it had felt like when they'd sparred for the first time. How thrilling that had been. Back then, he would have never even dreamt that it had only been the beginning for them. As much as he resented it, the connection they had was… it was something else.

He wished he could fight with Erwin again.

The opportunity presented itself, unbidden, several weeks after their encounter with Reiner. Well,  _ presented,  _ it did not. More like, pounded Erwin on the head with a chair, courtesy of said Reiner and his cronies.

They had been sitting in the mess hall as always, not even pretending to enjoy their mystery sludge when it just came out of nowhere. A pair of hands grabbed a chair that made tremendous contact with the back of Erwin's head before Levi could even notice it. Levi felt anger – intense, red-hot, all-consuming. And then the rest, as they say, was history – history of scuffling and him possibly doing a lot of property damage as he flung himself over the table and at Reiner.

He wished he could pinpoint exactly when thing anger became so destructive. At that moment, though, all he knew was that he wanted to make the people who hurt Erwin feel pain, as much as they deserved. He wanted to see them writhing in agony, black and blue; and he followed his instincts to his heart's content.

It was ironic. From the first moment they had met, he had so desperately wanted to see Erwin take a beating, take his ego down a few notches. And yet he didn't even think twice before jumping over the table and lunging for Reiner's throat.

He felt hands on his arms, his legs, trying to restrain him, to push him back. He dodged a couple of blows – not many in the mess hall were really up for fighting him. They had seen Levi fight before and knew better than to judge him by size. He was not  _ Mad Dog Levi  _ for nothing.

Out of the corner of his eye, he glimpsed Erwin standing up shakily, only to be hit in the face again by one of Reiner’s people. The blow landed square on his cheekbone, sending him reeling. Levi almost hissed in sympathy – that was going to leave a nasty ass-bruise for weeks. He tried to get to Erwin, to help him somehow, but before he could fling himself between Erwin and the attacker, a knee punched right into his partner’s solar plexus, making him bend over in a fit of coughing.

Levi's speed easily matched and surpassed that of the attacker, and before any of them knew it, himself included, he was straddling Reiner across the chest, his hands on the floor on either side of the man's head. That didn't last long. Reiner sneered at him, and Levi went off, punching him in the nose, hard. Blood stained his fist as Reiner let out a yell of pain. That didn't stop Levi. If anything, it spurred him on, triggering muscle memory as he punched the living daylights out of the man.

He felt some of the prisoners trying to tug on his arms, even his hair, to get him away from his would-be victim; but he struggled against them, he did until he felt the crash of a baton against the back of his head as the guards flooded the mess hall. He was ripped off Reiner’s half-conscious body before going slack in the hands of the wardens.

He thought he heard Erwin groan his name.

* * *

Awareness came in bursts. First came the overly bright lights. Levi winced at them, feeling like he was severely hungover - _ yet again _ . He struggled to get up but found that he had been handcuffed to his bed frame. He tugged on it uselessly as he sat up, gritting his teeth against a pounding headache.

“Serves you right.”

He whipped his head around to see Officer Shadis, his back against the door of the cell. His face looked like the exact antonym to pleased.

This wasn’t going to be good.

“Care to explain what the fuck that was about, Ackerman?”

Levi looked at the man wearily and then tried to slip back into his usual nonchalant mode.

“It’s a prison,” he said, grunting with effort to sit up a little better, despite the handcuffs. “Prisoners fight. What did you expect from a bunch of criminals?”

Shadis ground his teeth.

“When they are given a chance at a full pardon, I expect them to be on their best behavior,” he replied, the volume of his voice escalating. Levi winced again as his words resounded around his metal-padded cell. “Not end up in medical, practically in a coma!”

That gave Levi pause.

“... Is Erwin alright?”

Shadis looked at him for a long time, saying nothing. He sighed, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"He'll live. Medical says he has a concussion. Can't send him out on missions for a while," he said reluctantly. "And here I am, wondering if the great Levi Ackerman can tell me what the fuck I'm supposed to do with soldiers that can't fight."

Levi scoffed.

“I don’t know, _ sir _ . Put some spices on us and feed us to the Titans for dinner?” He said waspishly, satisfied with the look of desperation in Shadis’ eyes. “Wasn’t that the plan all along?”

“I’ve had it with your attitude, Ackerman. I have given you more than you deserve and you repay my generosity with ingratitude. Give me one reason I shouldn’t terminate you and your boyfriend. There are loads of other prisoners aching for a Battlestar.”

Levi narrowed his eyes at the man.

“Because we are the best you’ve seen, and you know it.”

Shadis sighed deeply.

“You know it,” Levi repeated, a smirk on his face.

"Six successful missions with a Titan kill count of forty-two is incredible, to say the least," the marshal said reluctantly as if Levi was using tongs to pry the words out of him. "The best I've seen."

He  _ tsk-ed _ , frowning at Levi’s smug face.

"Just know if it weren't for these numbers, you would be gone."

Levi snorted.

“Well, lucky for me my ability to kill is finally coming in handy.”  

That elicited a glare from the marshal. He clearly didn’t understand the concept of sarcasm.

“Just because I need you to fight the Titans doesn’t mean you can get away with this kind of shit, Ackerman.”

Levi wanted to say something, to drive the nail into his coffin or at least walk away from this conversation satisfied with his own level of snark.

But then… Erwin. The man really believed in this bullshit. He was currently in the sick bay, probably counting stars around his head, and he couldn’t defend himself against these accusations. Levi was the only one who would speak for him, for both of them. The other prisoners would never support their claims. Their jealousy wouldn’t let them. Neither would Reiner.

Reluctantly, Levi looked up at the marshal.

“We didn’t start the fight, sir.”

“No?” Shadis lifted an inquisitive eyebrow.

“No, sir,” Levi said, trying to keep his tone as polite as he could. How did Erwin do this cultured bullshit thing daily?

“The other prisoners are less than pleased with the special treatment we’re getting because of… the pilot thing. So, if you want me to act as your perfect toy soldier, maybe you should stop making us a goddamn target for the inmates. If anyone is to blame for Erwin and I being unable to go out on more Titan killing missions, it’s  _ you.  _ Sir.”   

Shadis looked like he would throw something if Levi didn't stop running his mouth. But Levi didn’t go on. He had said it. Done the good thing. Been the bigger man.

Shadis looked at him calculatingly and then turned towards the door, his hand on the bars of the tiny window.

“Fine, Ackerman. You and Smith will be transferred to the barracks effective immediately. Congratulations,” he said bitterly.

“You’re lucky I have a replacement while you two are down for the count. I have made a few calls. Krista Lenz and Ymir Fritz, two prisoners from another ship, will be transferred here to replace you while you are in recovery. You are to show them the ropes around here and be perfectly polite.”

Levi sneered.

“Play nice, why don't you?” Shadis said as he nodded at the guards to uncuff Levi.

* * *

The new room was small, bleak and dreary, but it was a  _ room.  _ A real room, with a real bed. Something Levi had never had, growing up in the slums.

“Cozy, huh?” Erwin joked. Levi looked at him skeptically, eyeing the bandage across the man’s cheekbone. Thankfully, the concussion had turned out to be mild, and save for a couple of scrapes and bruises, Erwin had come out of the fight relatively unscathed. Levi pretended not to be relieved.

“Yeah, whatever.”

Levi sat up on the bed, groaning. He looked down, swearing loudly when he saw that his shirt was stained with blood. Erwin was by his side in a split second, kneeling with a wince of his own.

“Are you okay, Levi?” He reached out to touch. Levi scooted away.

“Fucking fine. You’re the one with the concussion.”

“Let me look at it,” Erwin insisted, shuffling closer.

“Fuck off.”

“Please.”

They glared at each other. Erwin, the motherfucker, had pretty eyes.

“... Fine.”

That was how they ended up in the most awkward position this side of the galaxy, with Erwin wrapping bandages around Levi’s chest and abdomen, where a knife had nicked him. He hadn’t even noticed there’d been a knife.

Levi tried not to look at Erwin, enduring the awkward silence in stillness.

"Thank you for today, Levi," Erwin murmured as he worked, a little furrow between his brows. "For fighting for me. I'd probably be in worse shape if it weren't for you."

Levi scoffed, fighting the warmth that rose to his cheeks.

"You're talking nonsense. They were after both of us. I would have taken a beaten anyways," he said, shrugging. The motion made him hiss in pain, and Erwin looked at him reproachfully.

“Still, thank you. I know you hate me for whatever reason, so I appreciate you having my back,” he replied as he worked, his eyes on Levi’s skin.

_ I don’t hate you, _ Levi wanted to say; and again, Levi wished he could pinpoint the exact moment when he'd stopped hating Erwin. Through all the syncs, dangerous missions, and time spent together in a cramped cell, Levi had grown accustomed to Erwin's presence. Somewhere along the way the burning hatred he'd felt since day one had faded. Erwin had become a fixture in his life – a fixture Levi wanted to keep around.  

Levi couldn’t say that.

"I told you, I didn't do it for you," he said instead. Erwin glanced up at him briefly, and Levi averted his gaze.

“You die, I die. You are my ticket off this ship. I could care less if your face gets wrecked. In fact, maybe that punch fixed your ugly-ass nose.”

Erwin chuckled lightly. Levi didn’t know why he’d bothered lying, the sync would reveal everything sooner or later.

He hated the world right now.

Erwin finished wrapping the bandage, tucking it neatly so it wouldn’t get caught on things. Levi inspected his work, impressed by how clean it was.

"Well, you should be okay now," Erwin said, standing up. He got over to his bed and lay down in it, a lazy smile on his face.

“Goodnight, Levi.”

It took five minutes, but in the end, Levi responded with a whispered  _ Goodnight. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If Erwin and Levi can survive not getting eaten by Titans, ya'll can survive finals! We believe in you!


	4. The Sparrow

Time sure flew when they were busy saving humanity. Days and nights became a distant memory to Levi – it wasn't like there was any way of knowing in space. Out there, in the dark vastness of the universe, it was always night. Levi wasn't even sure if he remembered what a bright blue sky looked like at midday. He wasn't certain he remembered dawns and nightfalls. Erwin told him he still did – he'd seen them in Levi's head, drenched in pink and red. Levi wasn't sure those were memories. They were far too pretty to be memories. He must have caught Erwin's knack for romanticizing shit, so all those pinks and reds must have been a figment of his under-stimulated imagination.

Another thing that was definitely the product of Levi's imagination was the frankly astonishing collection of fantasies he had developed involving Erwin Smith. It took all of his willpower to keep Erwin from seeing those when they synced, and honestly, he felt he would have to airlock himself out if Erwin were ever to find out. But the drift had a mind of its own, and sooner or later it would come. Levi did not look forward to that day. The man's friendship had become a pillar of strength to Levi, and losing that to horniness was just not an option.

It wasn’t for the lack of trying, really. Levi’s treacherous body took control of the situation more and more frequently; up to the point that he was forced to douse himself in freezing cold water every morning. He would wake up a little earlier than Erwin and make a run for the communication showers, just early enough for Erwin not to see what was happening.

When Erwin wasn’t there, which was almost never since they were expected to be joined at the hip, Levi would venture into the recesses of his mind and give in to the temptation, stemming from the vast collection of thoughts and memories he had garnered over the years. Not just Erwin’s, though, but also his own – of the times when he had carefully and surreptitiously observed the man. Memories of Erwin in those very showers after a mission. Changing into his uniform and then out of it. The way the pliant material would just fall at his feet carelessly. Levi would always take his time, as much as he wanted to be careful. He would let his gaze slowly drift up from the uniform at Erwin’s feet to his sculpted calves, his hips, the flat planes of his stomach and chest, his arms, his face. Only then would he let his gaze drop back down between Erwin’s legs.

He liked what he saw way too much. And what was worse, his body wanted even more, spurring him on to bite his lips and pant softly into his fist as he frantically jerked off to the thought of Erwin, gloriously naked, his large body covering his own just perfectly. Sweaty, sticky, beautiful together.

These feelings for Erwin were confusing. He did not know where the lines of lust began, and where… not _love_ (perish the thought), but admiration? _respect?_... began. Erwin Smith confused him. Levi didn't like being confused. He had always been a man who prided himself on being up to speed on everything. Information was power; he had learned that a long while ago – his mother's clients would often impart that wisdom on him. They would give juicy details to her, panting them between her legs, and she would carefully shelf them for future reference. Levi himself was not above blackmail.

At least, he hadn’t been. But then Erwin Smith had come along and peeked into his head multiple times over the course of the past couple of years.

Fucking Erwin Smith.

Except Levi wasn’t. Fucking him. And that was the most frustrating part of it.

Erwin wasn't a sexual being, at least, outside of Levi's dirty fantasies. He did nothing suggestive and never seemed interested in _bitches_ and _pussy_ , which were all the rage among the prisoners, and even some of the soldiers. But Erwin was kind of touchy-feely. He would casually brush up against Levi, or help him stand when he had trouble balancing after a sync. He would offer Levi his hand and do infuriatingly small things that made Levi want to scream out loud. Or throw himself out the airlock, whichever one was the more accessible option at that moment.

Erwin Smith was confusing. _You would think being able to see the inside of someone’s mind would make you understand them_ , Levi thought to himself grimly. But the more Levi saw of Erwin, the less he understood about the man. Erwin Smith had officially gotten under his skin. And he wasn’t sure he was every going to be able to wash that away – no matter how many cold morning showers he took.

* * *

“Happy anniversary.”  

Erwin dropped a small box on Levi’s bed. Levi looked at it as if it were a particularly venomous snake. Which, to him, it could be – metaphorically speaking, at least. Accepting gifts was a no-no. Especially not from Erwin fucking Smith.

“Excuse me?” He asked, ruffled by the words.

"Today marks two years of our joint missions," Erwin said with a dopey smile on his face. Levi rolled his eyes as the man sat down on his bed, reaching for a book. That was another thing. Erwin loved reading. Fucking _adored_ it. It seemed to Levi like he had read every single piece of printed material on this damn ship. Including the air freshener labels. It was just weird to him since most prisoners hardly knew how to read, let alone enjoyed novels like Erwin did.

“Of course you are the type of loser that tracks this kind of stuff,”  Levi joked, feeling apprehensive.

“One-hundred and ninety-five Titan kills, too.”

_Ah, there’s the accountant._ Of course, Levi couldn't say that out loud; it went against the rules. Ignore everything he had learned in the drift. It was crazy how much they knew about each other, and how much they pretended not to know.

"We've come a long way, don't you think?" Erwin asked. Levi remained silent; his eyes fixed on the small brown box sitting on his bed.

“I thought that deserved commemoration. Two years ago, you would have wanted nothing more but to see me dead-”

“-who says I still don’t?” Levi interrupted. Erwin gave him a small smile. Erwin and his fucking small smiles.

“-and now, well... Now we are a team,” he finished. Levi rolled his eyes.

“Fucking hell, you’re a sentimental nerd.”

Erwin only smiled.

“Will you just open it?”  

Levi reached out tentatively, feeling almost as if the fucking thing would try to bite his hand off. He didn’t even remember when was the last time he had received a gift. He had been forced to fight for everything he had owned back on Earth – most of the time, through illegal or questionable means. Gifts had been a rarity.

He slowly opened the box to find a small silver pendant – a six-point star. His eyes widened in realization.

The Star of David. The same star that his mother had worn.  

Levi was silent. Eyes wide, he was unable to form any proper thought or sentence. His fingers shook around the box as he stared at the pendant. It was rough, crudely made, and it was definitely a low-grade kind of craftsmanship.

It was too much.

“I… uh… I thought you might want something that…” Erwin began, trying to fill the silence. Levi bit the inside of his cheek.

“What the fuck, Erwin?”  He asked, his voice eerily even. He didn’t want to meet the man’s gaze. The star was burning holes in his eyes. He heard Erwin shift on his bed, causing it to creak uncomfortably.

"Okay, I know it isn't the same as in-"

“Where did you even get this?” Levi interrupted.

“I made it, actually.”

That was enough to get Levi to look up at Erwin, whose face appeared strangely open to him. Vulnerable. Levi didn’t like it.

“I know it’s not amazing. I’m no artist. But I think it’s pretty close to what your mother had.”

Erwin let out a small chuckle, smiling. But his smile quickly dropped when we saw the look on Levi’s face. The smaller man tightened his grip around the box, his knuckles turning white.  

“What, the actual fuck, Erwin!”

Erwin frowned, clearly not having anticipated a reaction like that.

“You’re mad-”

“No fucking shit, I’m mad!” Levi fumed, throwing the box down onto the mattress in anger. The star glinted up at him mockingly.

“Why would you do this? I thought we promised not to… not to talk about this shit! You fucking _promised_ , Erwin! We made a fucking _deal_ , you piece of shit.”

“I just wanted to do something nice for you,” Erwin said defensively, putting up two hands in a gesture of surrender. “I thought you’d appreciate it.”   

“Well, you thought wrong,” Levi spat at him, picking the pendant out of the box and thrusting his fist into Erwin’s face. “This… this is bullshit, Erwin.”

He headed for the door, about to storm out of the room, but Erwin grabbed his arm before he could leave. Levi tugged against the grip stubbornly, but Erwin held on.

“Don’t leave,” he said, his eyes searching Levi’s face. Fucking Erwin Smith with his fucking blue eyes.

“Can we talk about this? I didn’t mean to upset you.”  

“If you think I want to talk to you right now, or even look at you right now, you’re even dumber than you look,” Levi hissed hostilely.

At that Erwin let go, letting Levi leave the room. Levi did his best to ignore the hurt look on the man’s face as he slammed the steel door behind him.

The thing Levi loved most about living separately from the prison, _other than not being in fucking prison_ , was the sliver of freedom he had: the ability to walk around the barrack area without the threat of being hunted down and stuffed back into a cell by some holier-than-thou warden. Two years and numerous Titan kills later, he had earned some respect.

The second thing he loved was the small room off the side of the cargo bay area which had a gigantic window overlooking what felt like the entirety of space outside. It was typically vacant late at night, as no one really ever used it. He liked to go there and just sit, gazing at the stars and cosmic debris outside sometimes.

From Erwin and him being joined at the hip to Hanji yelling Titan shit in his ear all the time and Shadis sending him on life-threatening missions every other second, he didn't have much alone time. So, minutes like these, when he could just look at the stars and the vast blackness of space… he treasured those.

He slumped down, leaning his back against the cold metal wall. His eyes followed the passage of the debris outside listlessly. It was so quiet down here. Peaceful. Even the buzz of anger in his head seemed to grow silent, allowing the solitude to wash over him.

But that silence didn’t last long. After about fifteen minutes, the door swung open to reveal a very guilty-looking Erwin. Levi found he had no more energy to fight the man, so he just turned back towards the window.

“Thought I’d find you here,” Erwin said awkwardly.

“What do you want?”

“Calmed down a bit?”

He hated that Erwin knew him so well. He had known where he’d be. Erwin knew that he’d be calmer after storming out and just stewing in his anger for a bit.

“You had no right to do that.”

“I get why you are angry at me, but this rule of ours? Don’t you think it juvenile?” Erwin asked, seemingly burning with determination. Levi hated it. Erwin always looked like he could just… fucking smile and change the world or some shit.

“Aren’t we past it? Can’t we just talk about what we see and know?”

“No, Erwin. No, we can’t.”

Levi turned away, ignoring Erwin’s pathetic attempts at reconciliation. He felt like had been doused with cold water. _Trust, my foot. We had one fucking deal, and he went and broke it._

He only realized it when the door closed behind Erwin, but the pendant was still in his hand. The points of the star felt etched into the skin of his palm.

* * *

“Synchronization complete. Launching Battlestar in five… four… three… two...”

The familiar whoosh of the launch tube was a comforting sound. Levi closed his eyes for a moment – if only because he could still see what was happening through Erwin's.

_You ready for this?_ Erwin's voice rang in his head, and Levi nodded, knowing Erwin didn't need to see it to be aware that he was doing it. Syncs were weird things, but with time, the strangeness of it all had faded away.

All that was left was the will to fight – and win.

His bliss was interrupted by Hanji's voice, and he winced, opening his eyes to see the other two Battlestars in the distance: the Condor and the Starling.

“Okay team, we have two Titans approaching on radar. Sparrow, take the one on the left. Starling, take the one on the right. Condor, remain on standby for backup.”

Levi rolled his eyes. Hanji trying to sound professional was like a dog walking on its hind legs. It served the purpose, but boy was it hilarious.

_Let’s do this!_ Erwin called in his mind, and Levi followed the slight nudge he felt from Erwin's thoughts, guiding the ship towards the Titans. They were already there, in plain sight, their metallic exteriors glinting maliciously, illuminated by the powerful headlights of the Battlestar.

_Attack in three, two-_

Suddenly, the radar went off the rails, beeping like crazy. Levi heard Hanji’s soft gasp through the headphones, the realization sinking like a stone into his stomach.

There weren’t just two Titans. There was at least a dozen, and they were charging to meet their group.

_What the fuck?_

_Stay calm, Levi!_ Erwin's thoughts were slightly panicked, making it so much harder to concentrate on doing this right. _We can do this!_

_Then let’s fucking do this, they’re about to take Ymir and Krista!_

The Titans seemed to have chosen their targets, heading straight for Battlestar Starling. Shots were fired, tons of them, raining down onto the small ship. A distress signal resounded in their earpieces, making him wince. He couldn’t see what was going on, just that one of the wings seemed to have been damaged.

Levi didn’t even think, it was instinct to protect his fellow pilots, and his thoughts quickly changed to putting his battlestar in the middle of the action.

_Levi, what are you doing?_ Erwin’s furious thoughts beat against his skull like a caged bird as Levi already started to will the Battlestar into moving right into the line of the Titans’ fire.

_We need to distract them, so Starling can get out!_ Levi yelled back. _You know that’s the fastest way!_

_I’m not dying tonight!_

_Good, neither am I!_ Levi yelled back through the mind link. Levi didn’t need to wait for a confirmation, he knew Erwin would have his back. Erwin always did.

Their Battlestar swooped over to where Starling was. Levi reached for the communications button.

“Condor, Condor, do you copy?”

_“I heard you, Sparrow, what are you thinking? Over.”_ Mike’s voice responded, laced with worry.

“I want you to come in and fry these motherfuckers while we distract them. Over.”

_“Sparrow, that is the craziest shit you’ve come up with so far. Over.”_

“Just get the fuck over here!” Levi yelled. “Over!”

The rest was a blur. Suddenly, seven Titans were on their ass and Levi heard sighs of relief from Sparrow’s damaged Battlestar. _Starling is safe,_ was the only thought at the forefront of his mind, as the seven Titans started shooting right at them. The Condor dipped in after their ship, taking down the pursuers one by one. Levi and Erwin charged away, fighting against speed and time. Levi knew that no other team could match them in speed and response time – the only question was whether any of the Titans could. This reminded Levi of his first match with Erwin, how it had felt more like a dance than a fight, when they stepped around each other, circling, avoiding each other’s hits perfectly.   

_Only you would think of something like that on the brink of death, Levi._

_I told you, we aren’t dying tonight._

With the Sparrow acting as a decoy, Teams Conrad and Starling were able to take down the last remaining Titan. It exploded into a million pieces of debris, allowing Levi and Erwin to escape with their lives, rushing towards the mother ship.

“Thank you, Sparrow, we owe you one!” Krista’s voice came over the com system in Levi’s ear.  

“Whatever, we could have taken them.” Ymir said with a grunt. Levi rolled his eyes, glancing skeptically at the broken wing of the Starling ship.

“Ymir! Can’t you ever just say thank you!”  Krista’s voice came through the com.

“I do say thank you. Like last night, when you did that thing in bed with the-,”  

“Okay, Starling heading back to base. Over and out.” Krista jumped in.   

With the Titans destroyed, Levi let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. The Sparrow evened out, heading back to the hangar bay. Levi never thought he’d be happy to hear the annoying bickering of Krista and Ymir, yet at this moment in time he wouldn’t want to hear anything else.

_You know, if you want to dance I can just teach you, instead of sending us into a firework display of death._ Erwin sounded like he was smiling. Levi felt a small jolt in his stomach, but ignored it in favor of rolling his eyes and scoffing.

_Shut up, Smith._

* * *

The Battlestar hit the desk with a resounding bang, and sparks flew as it continued on momentum, skidding to a halt right before the hangar entrance. Levi didn't really remember how he'd managed to land this thing – his fingers were shaking by the time he got out of his seat and tossed the helmet to the side, adrenaline still coursing through his veins.

The next thing he knew, he was being tackled to the ground by an emotional Hanji. Judging by the surprised grunt somewhere around his left ear, Erwin had suffered the same fate.

“I was so worried! Don’t you ever do that again! I don’t know what I’d do without you!” Hanji shrieked, gripping the two of them tighter and effectively pinning them to the floor.

Levi struggled in an attempt to push them away.

“Get off me, Shitty Four-Eyes! And you’d just find other pilots, the way you found us,” he growled.

Hanji pulled up, looking at him sternly.

“You don't have to be such as ass,” they admonished, looking actually hurt. It was a nice change from their usual maniacal smile.

"Whatever," Levi grumbled, not in the mood for this. "We're okay. Get off me."

Hanji pulled away reluctantly, and Levi stood, ignoring both them and Erwin as he left the hangar. He felt the eyes of the techies on him but chose to ignore that as well, as it would put him in an even fouler mood.

Erwin caught up with him in the prep room. Levi groaned inwardly. _Here it comes, the morality speech._

"Hanji was just worried, you know," Erwin said, glancing at Levi with reproach. "They are allowed to be concerned about people they care for."

"Whatever, they'll get over it," Levi said with a shrug as he began stripping off his flight uniform. Fuck, he needed a shower. Erwin's hand shot out, and he grabbed Levi's wrist, pulling him closer to force their eyes to meet. Levi ducked his head, feeling increasingly uncomfortable at the closeness.

“Why do you do that, Levi?” Erwin asked quietly.

“Do what?”

“Act like you don’t care,” Erwin said, frowning. Levi snorted.

“It’s not an act. I just don’t care,” he said bitingly, trying to tug his hand away. Erwin didn’t relent.

“That’s a lie. I know you care. You care about Hanji and -” Erwin hesitated, the words _and I_ remained unsaid, lingering there. “You care about the other soldiers. Mike, Nanaba, Ymir, Krista. I know you care.”

Pain blossomed in Levi’s chest, and he pushed it down, hoping it was just motion sickness from all the turbulence or something.

“The fuck would you know?” He mumbled.

“I get synced to your brain, in case you forgot.” Levi flinched at that, still sensitive from Erwin having broken their contract once before. The six-point star was still a weight in his hand, even if he didn’t have it with him. Even if he had, for some reason, tucked it away into the bottom drawer of his bedside table.

“I know you, Levi, so stop pretending like I don’t see what you see,” Erwin said urgently, frowning at Levi’s avoidance. The smaller man finally managed to get his hand out of Erwin’s grip.

“I told you, we _aren’t_ doing this,” he hissed.

“Well, maybe it’s time to do this, Levi,” Erwin replied, grabbing onto Levi’s sleeve instead.  

“You know what, Erwin?” Levi finally exploded, rounding on the man. All the frustrations from the past couple of weeks collapsed on top of him, making him feel trapped.

He didn’t like feeling trapped.

“I am tired of your superiority complex!” He hissed with venom. “Your fucking… holier than thou _thing_ that you do!”

Erwin took a step back, realizing he had just blown the lid off.

“You wanna talk?” Levi thundered, his face red with anger.

“Then let's talk! Just because you grew up in privilege and got a fancy job doesn't make you better than me! News flash, you ended up here just like me! You’ve killed people just like me! You can’t act like you’re _fucking better than me_ when you killed your own goddamn wife and kid, you fucking _coward!_ You wanna talk?! Let’s fucking talk!”

Levi regretted the words as soon as he said them. The look on Erwin’s face was… Levi had never seen that look mar Erwin’s features. Erwin didn’t make sad faces. This wasn’t a sad face, though. It was… heartbroken. Destroyed.

_Great job, idiot,_ he thought to himself. _Pushing away is what you do best._

Erwin sighed deeply, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Levi, this is exactly what I am talking about. You are a good person. You always put the safety of others at top priority, and you know it. Even if you don't want to-,"

“Don’t you fucking psychoanalyze me, Erwin,” Levi said harshly. “Don’t change the fucking subject. You wanna be honest? Fine. Be fucking honest. Tell me all about how you slashed your wife’s throat.”    

"One day you'll realize the world isn't black and white," Erwin said, and Levi groaned frustratedly.

“Thanks, Philosophy 101! It’s not! It’s also red! Fucking blood everywhere! The world is shitty, Erwin.”

"There are also a lot of things worth fighting for," Erwin murmured. Levi looked at him incredulously.

“And that’s why you killed her? Because the world is such a beautiful place?”  

Levi didn't know why he kept prying. He didn't actually want to know. He didn't like to think about the woman in white. It didn't feel like something he was supposed to know about or even see. The woman in white was Erwin's memory, but Erwin had made it Levi's business when he'd forced that stupid fucking star on him. Erwin had been the one who'd blurred the lines between private and not, and Levi didn't care enough about his own sanity to stop when it was best to do so.

“I didn’t kill her.”

“-and you dare tell me that- wait.” Levi stopped short, panting, his eyes wide as he looked at Erwin. “Wait, what?”

"I didn't kill my wife," Erwin muttered, looking down at his shoes. "I didn't kill her, Levi."

“R-right,” Levi said, frowning. The sinking feeling in his chest grew.

"I was framed," Erwin continued, glancing up at Levi who felt like he was supposed to look away but couldn't. "You aren't the only one with a tragic past."

A moment of silence passed between them, and finally, Levi sat down, sighing. This was such a fucking mess. This was what happened when they talked about the syncs.

“Who framed you?” He asked quietly. Erwin shifted on his feet and then slid down the wall to join Levi. He leaned his head back against it and closed his eyes.

“My best friend.”

Classic. Of course, Erwin just had to be a hero of a twisted love-story-cum-police-drama.

“If you knew who framed you, why couldn’t you go to the police or something?” Levi asked, knowing the answer wasn’t going to be easy. They rarely were.

Erwin chuckled unhappily.

“His name was Nile. _Is_ Nile, I guess. He is a policeman.”

“Ah,” Levi breathed. “Friends in high places doesn’t always work out, does it?”

Erwin snorted.

“He was my best friend since elementary school,” he said, licking his lips as he thought of what to say. “We were inseparable, or so I thought. In high school, we both became friends with this girl, Marie. We both loved her. I was the one who ended up marrying her, though.”

“The woman in white?” Levi asked cautiously. Erwin glanced at him wearily and nodded.

"Marie was… well, Marie had always been a character. I loved her through all the up and downs of our relationship. I loved her… I don't even know how to describe it. I was in over my head, _and_ I was head over heels. So, when she cheated on me with Nile, I was heartbroken, but we worked past it. I guess I worked past it more than she did. Then she got pregnant.”

Erwin swallowed thickly, frowning up at the ceiling.

"Nile thought the baby was his, he demanded blood tests, he tried to destroy our relationship over and over again. He kept begging Marie to leave me for him, and she kept turning him down, in favor of trying to make our marriage work again. Rejection after rejection, Nile kept pursuing Marie."

“You didn’t think to get a restraining order or something?” Levi asked, frowning. That sounded like one fucked-up person to him, but then again, what did he know?

“He was my friend,” Erwin said quietly. “We had so much history behind us and… I don’t know. I thought that maybe things would change eventually, that he’d move on. I was pissed at him, and we weren’t on speaking terms, but I thought maybe one day he would turn around and we could put it all behind us. Wishful thinking.”

"You see the best in people, Erwin. Even when it's not there." Levi knew that through personal experience. He couldn't understand why Erwin kept giving him so many chances when all he did was spit venom at him and hurt his feelings.

“Maybe,” Erwin hummed.

"So, what happened next?" Levi didn't want to pry, but he needed to understand this. He had to know what had happened to Erwin because he felt like this was the last puzzle piece. He was probably kidding himself since Erwin was one complicated motherfucker, but even getting a step closer to figuring him out was already a leap forward.

"One day, he just snapped. One rejection too many, I guess. The baby was due any day, and I think Nile couldn't stand the idea of a child that wasn't his."

“So the baby was yours?” Levi asked. “Biologically, I mean.”  

"I never looked at the results. Didn't think it mattered. I was planning to raise it as my own regardless of its DNA," Erwin said. Levi nearly rolled his eyes at that. A good man, through and through.

“I came home one day to find my wife dead in the living room. Everything else happened so fast. The police were already at my door before I could even call them. Nile phoned it in.”

"He was there at the scene to handcuff me and take me to the station. The last thing he said to me was ‘bitch had it coming.' No one believed me when I said I wasn't guilty. I had no alibi for the time of death since I was at the office alone at night. My prints were found on the knife. And everyone who knew us knew we were going through a rough patch in our marriage. The evidence was so compelling that sometimes I actually believed I did kill her," Erwin said, turning his head to look at Levi lazily.

"But you didn't," Levi said, feeling horrible for all he'd said before. Always jumping to conclusions, always thinking the worst. No wonder Erwin was his partner. If opposites attracted, then this was a match made in heaven. Or, well, space, he supposed.

“I loved her. I’d never hurt her.”

“And then you ended up here.”

"Yes. Nile had connections in the system. Made sure to get me sent to the worst prison I could be sent to and as far away from him as possible. He wanted me to suffer."

Erwin’s smile unnerved Levi. It was too fucking serene to match the words he was saying. Almost as if he was trying to convince his brain that if his face was smiling, everything was okay.

Levi didn’t know what to say. All his life, he had been surrounded by scum. The lowest of the lowest. But Erwin was different. Levi wanted to get back to Earth for selfish reasons, but at least he deserved to be on this ship. Erwin should have never been here in the first place.

“You don’t deserve this, Erwin,” he finally said, biting his lip. “You don’t deserve this life.”

 

“Doesn’t matter what I deserve, it’s the life I have. At least now I can do some good. Make my life worth something again. Protect humanity,” Erwin said, shrugging minutely. “All thanks to you, Levi.”

Levi ignored that last part. It hurt him that Erwin – good, kind, _innocent_ Erwin – only had _him,_ bad, vicious, and murderous. Levi, who used to kill people just to put a few bucks in his pocket, managed to be compatible with Erwin, a man who saw the good in everyone and would probably give his last money to someone in need.

“Why protect humanity, when they turned their back on you?” Levi asked finally, not knowing what else to say.

"Humanity didn't do this to me," Erwin replied thoughtfully. "Nile did. And I have come to terms with it."

"How can you be so…" Levi couldn't think of the word to describe Erwin, so he just made a vague hand gesture, trying to communicate what he thought. "So you-like, with all of this shit happening to you?"

Erwin snorted.

“What do you mean, me-like?”

“How do you not hate everyone and everything?”

“Because we are not meant to waste our life angry at what we can’t control.”

Levi didn't understand what he meant by that. Didn't understand Erwin Smith. Didn't understand him one little bit.

The only thing he did understand was that Erwin didn’t belong here.

He stood up, offering Erwin a hand to help him up as well. Surprised, Erwin took his hand nevertheless, drawing to his full height. Levi looked up at the blond, Erwin’s hand still in his grasp. He looked, really looked at the man’s face, his tired eyes, and for the first time, made a promise he knew he would fight to keep, tooth and nail.  

“You are a good man, Erwin. I’m going to get you back to Earth.”

Erwin looked surprised, then sad, then amused, all within a span of a split-second. He offered Levi a small smile.

“That would be nice, wouldn’t it?”

Levi squeezed his hand, his jaw set. He realized that he liked those small smiles. He wanted to see more of them.

“I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The amazing art was a commission by [autiacora](http://autiacora.tumblr.com/post/160276553986/commission-for-haganenoheichou-based-on-their)! Check them out!


	5. The Discovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haganenoheichou: Sorry it's been a while, guys! My lovely partner and I were swamped with work but here it is, the drama-ridden new installment of Stars Align! We hope you enjoy it as much as we enjoyed writing it!

“Can’t believe you are getting out this week,” Erwin said, tossing his helmet to the side. They had just come back from another successful mission, having left a handful of Titans in the dust. Erwin always came out of the Battlestar with his hair a mess, and his smile burning bright. It was during moments like these that Levi just wanted to take a mental screenshot and hold onto it forever. Somehow, and he didn’t even know when it had happened, Levi had started measuring time in Erwin’s smiles.

“Yup, homebound, finally,” Ymir said stretching her arms over her head. Levi looked up at her, resenting her height. She towered over him, naturally; his only consolation was that her partner, Krista, was even tinier than him. As pathetic as that was, he took pleasure in being second-shortest.

“So what’s next? Are you going to get married?” Erwin asked, glancing at them excitedly. Levi nearly rolled his eyes at that – even though Erwin could kill off Titans left and right like nobody’s business, he was just a gigantic puppy. Or a prospective wedding planner, depending on how his this Titan-killing gig played out.

"We are," Ymir said, clearly smug, as she wrapped her arm around her girlfriend protectively **.** Levi had no idea why she had gotten it in her head that everyone was out to take Krista away from her, but she was sure protective and damn proud of it. It made him a little jealous, knowing that someone received this sort of reverence from another human being. Meanwhile, he had been reduced to jerking off in the shower stall right next to the object of his affections, praying that one day he wouldn't come with Erwin's name on his lips and ruin the one good thing he had going for him. 

Krista grinned widely – okay,  _ fine _ , Levi could see that she was cute. He was a certified homosexual, but Krista Lenz. Was. Fucking. Adorable. Krista Lenz was also a passionate and incredible soldier. She reminded him of another blond idiot who, despite having been forced into becoming a fighter for humanity, genuinely cared about the cause.  

“We’re going to turn over a new leaf. No more murder and torture, right, Ymir?” Krista asked, smiling and nuzzle herself closer to Ymir.

Ymir nodded with such a bloodthirsty expression on her face that Levi had a hard time believing her.  

“Anything for you, babe. We want to open a cupcake store,” Ymir said.

“...cupcakes.”

“Ya. Everyone fucking loves cupcakes. Got a problem with that, shortcake.”

“If you wanna sell shit everyone loves, sell dildos,” Levi grumbled.

“Bite me, shortie,” Ymir said, while both Krista and Erwin were too busy blushing over the word ‘dildo.’

“Well, I hope you losers have fun,” he said, stretching his arms above his head until his back popped. He groaned, loving the feeling of soreness leaving him. “Because we sure ain’t gonna miss you.”

“Not at all,” Erwin said, catching on. “Go, leave, skedaddle.”

“You know you two will miss us,” Krista said, poking Erwin in the stomach – which was as high as she could really reach. Erwin just smiled at her.

“It’s not going to be the same without you two supporting us, that’s for sure. Even Levi is willing to admit that.”

“Well, maybe soon enough you’ll be walking the Earth again,” Krista chirped. Levi pulled on a smile.

Yes, if they continue with their almost impeccable track record, they would go back. To Earth. They would be able to live their lives, turn over a fresh page, yadda yadda. And that meant that eventually, Levi would not be waking up next to Erwin every morning. Ymir and Krista had their fucking cupcakes, of all things, to look forward too. But what did Levi have? Everything that he had was onboard this shitty ship. He hated to admit it, but everything he had was  _ Erwin _ .  

The ache in his chest became an unsettling weight. Erwin would not be around anymore. It was funny, the fact that just two years ago he couldn’t even stand being in the same room as the man. But now… now things were different. Now he had signed on to take the greatest journey of his life. And every journey ended in a forked road. One in which Erwin would leave him.

And Levi was going to make sure that he did. That was what their pact meant. He had promised Erwin that he would get him to Earth, and get back the life Erwin deserved to have. And that life didn't include him in it. Erwin didn't need a thug like Levi in his is perfect accountant lifestyle. All of this would come to an end, whatever  _ this _ was.

Levi was quiet the entire way back to their cell, ruminating on the idea. If Erwin noticed anything, he didn’t say a word. That was one of the things Levi had learned to appreciate about Erwin – he didn’t pry. For once, though, Levi wished he did.

As he sat down on his bed, he glanced at the other man, watching the familiar motions of Erwin bustling about the room, putting it in order and cleaning up his pile of books.

“What do you want to do when we’re free?” Levi asked, unable to stand the sound of his own thoughts echoing over and over in his head anymore **.**  “Have you thought about that?”

Erwin looked at him in surprise.

“I… I don’t know. I mean, the usual stuff, I guess?”

“The usual stuff?” Levi asked, furrowing his brows.

“You know, a home. A family. White picket fence and a stable job. Maybe a couple of kids. I would love to have a house near the ocean or a quiet cottage on a lake.”  

“You would honestly curse a child with your eyebrows?” Levi snorted. That was his defense mechanism. Course humor and casual insults. That was what worked for him.

Erwin chuckled lightly.

“Ah, why not?” He said.

_ Why not indeed?  _ That sort of life was perfect for Erwin. He had probably been raised thinking that it was his destined end point. For Levi, things were very different. He had been born in the gutter, and in the gutter he'd stayed until he had been hauled onto this flying bucket. He was not made for picket fences; he was not made for children with button noses and a nine-to-five that would require him to wear a suit and tie.

He was not made to have someone to come home to after that nine-to-five. He was made to be alone.

But Erwin was. And he knew that in spite of everything, he would be the one to help Erwin achieve his dream, no matter the cost. After all, he was just one man with one heart.

It didn’t really account for much.

“I want a dog, too.”

"Of course you do. Fucking gross."

“Dogs are not gross. They are gentle, loyal, and always excited to see you,” Erwin said. Levi rolled his eyes. Did the man always have to sound like a fucking Hallmark card?

“So the opposite of me?”

Erwin laughed.

“Precisely.”  

"Well, have fun cleaning up that slobber and shit," he said. Erwin gave him a fond look, but said nothing, letting silence slip between them. Levi felt his eyes on his back.

“What?”

“And you?”

“Hm?”

“Your plans.”

Levi looked up to see Erwin face, somehow suddenly older and… sadder? He didn't understand why Erwin looked sad. Erwin was the one that had a chance at a  _ real _ life. That picture that Erwin painted for the future sounded nice. Well, nice enough. Levi couldn't even imagine that let alone fit into it.  

“Nothing,” he replied, leaning back.

“Nothing.”

“Ya, nothing. No plans,” he said, almost choking on the word.

“No dreams?”

_ Not ones that I would want to tell you about. _

“Nope.”

Erwin wasn’t big on prying, that was one of the things that Levi appreciated about him.

So he dropped it.

* * *

The familiar feeling of the sync washing over him was a welcome distraction. The past couple of days had been hard – between training, fighting, and ruminating on the idea of Erwin no longer being a fixture in his life, Levi had barely been able to sit down and think really.

A sync was always welcome in situations like this.

Except for the fact that one never knew where the sync would lead them.

_ A hot shower was the best remedy for his aching body, pained after hours of sitting locked inside the Battlestar. He looked up at the artificial lights above, squinting as the droplets of water diffused the whiteness of it into a rainbow. They really did look like irises like that – like he was staring into really bright eyes. _

_ Blue eyes. _

_ Ah, what the hell? It had been a long day. _

_ He reached down, letting his eyelids fall, his back pressed against the shower wall. His other hand slipped up, running over the curve of his neck, up to his lips, touching them in a way that he knew Erwin would kiss him. _

_ Tender. _

_ Like he meant it. _

_ Like he cared for. _

_ Like he- _

Levi snapped out of the trance, cursing inwardly. He had let his mind wander during a synch. And he could definitely feel the faint echo of Erwin’s surprise and amusement through the bond. Fuck.

At the end of the day, when they, exhausted, piled into the changing rooms, Levi could feel Erwin’s gaze on his back.

“What is it?” He snapped, knowing exactly what it was about.

Erwin pulled off his helmet, smirking cockily.

“So, the shower, huh?”

Levi bit his lip. That was not something he'd expected from Erwin. After all, they were… sort of friends? And Erwin was too nice; he wouldn't have said something. Levi had been blissfully content with the notion of Erwin never bringing their sexual tension up.

He threw his helmet down, feeling somewhat betrayed by Erwin and ashamed of himself.

“Not a word, Smith.”

“Levi-,”

He pushed past the taller man, storming out of the room before he said something both of them would really, really regret.

* * *

Things were awkward after that. Levi found himself feeling Erwin's eyes on him, seemingly every minute of every day. He wanted to snap at the man, to make him stop thinking about it; but he also didn't want Erwin to know that he had noticed. He wanted to curse his stupid, weak mind for having shown Erwin  _ that _ .

“So.”

His attention snapped back to Mike who was smirking at the two of them in his usual cryptic way.

“Last mission before you two go home,” Mike said, smiling at the duo. “You guys worked hard. You deserve to go back.” Krista and Ymir glanced at each other, smiling as well. Levi could tell that their minds were already down there, beyond the ozone layer, wandering the streets of the cities on Earth.

“Four more days, huh? How ya feeling, Starling?”

Ymir grinned, placing her elbow on Krista’s shoulder and making the small blonde bristle.

“Couldn’t be better,” she replied. “Let’s kick some Titan ass for old times’ sake.”

They climbed into their Battlestars, and soon enough, they were launched into the abyss. Levi let his thoughts wander again, allowing him just to follow the imperatives of Erwin's mind instead. As much as he hated to admit it, he knew that Erwin was the best tactician he could have ever hoped for.

* * *

Titans were a mystery. Few facts were common knowledge about them. No one knew where they came from, why they were attacking, or what they looked like from the inside, who was piloting them.

There were only two truths that were obvious: one, that the Titans were dangerous; and two, underestimating them was the biggest and probably the last mistake one would make.

There was also a third truth that went unspoken:

_ Titans will eventually destroy everything you love.  _

Things were going smoothly – better than most, really, with Starling and Condor supporting them along the way; when suddenly, they weren't there. Levi knew that today would be the day when Erwin and he would test the bitter third truth of living his life as a soldier. Two years of a perfect record destroyed in a flash. A real flash of lasers and explosions.

Three Titans surrounded them.

_ Levi, we need to- _

_ Yes, on it! _

Their Battlestar dropped out from beneath the encircling, confusing the Titans momentarily – a moment was all they needed as they shot down one of them from underneath. 

"Erwin!" Levi called out, using his voice, his mind screaming as well. He felt Erwin's anxiety crawl up their bond. They had not prepared for this – they were almost out of ammo, and there was no way to refuel the battlestars in the middle of a fight.

“ _ Sparrow, Sparrow, there’s sixteen more and counting! _ " Krista's voice echoed into Levi's helmet. He gritted his teeth.

“Starling, I copy! We have another twen- make that thirty!”

The rest of the battle was a blur. A blur of horrendous turbulence that left Levi's stomach in knots, shouting, anguish, trembling limbs, and narrow escapes.

He felt himself start to tire soon after – and he could feel that Erwin was already on the verge of exhaustion on the other end of their bond. Just as he was about to send an encouraging thought to his partner, his vision with red as their Battlestar was hit with something that made him dive, helmet-first, right into the glass of the ship. The helmet did little to soften the blow, and his vision swam.

_ Bro! _

_ Levi! _

_ A smile. _

_ A laugh. _

_ Clammy hands were grasping his own. Joy. Happiness. He felt his mouth stretch into a wide grin as he listened to the red-haired girl talk her head off. A flash of unruly blond hair. _

_ Blood. So much blood. His breath was still in his chest as he watched, with eyes that were not his own – or at least, it felt like that – as faceless figures slit their throats. _

_ Their bodies fell with a definitive thud. _

“NO!” 

_ Blood. So much. Blood spilt everywhere. Blood coated his hands and face.  _

Another explosion shook the Battlestar, and he found himself turning back to look at Erwin – all he saw was wide blue eyes.  

Right on the right side of their ship was blown off completely, right where Erwin had been sitting.

He realized that we was covered in blood. Real blood this time. 

Their connection broke, making him let out a silent scream as he was vented outside, thrown out of the ship like a ragdoll.

He felt himself get jerked out of the ship through the vast hole in the hull, right into the vacuum of space. His helmet switched to personal oxygen, and he gasped in a breath, watching in horrified fascination as the Battlestar was torn apart into tiny pieces.

That was when he spotted Erwin – 

Erwin, floating, unconscious, amidst the rubble, and bleeding from his right shoulder, his suit venting precious oxygen into space.   

Levi tried to navigate through the vacuum, desperate to reach Erwin; but could do nothing. Yet again, Levi would be stuck watching as his part of his life, an integral part of it, was slowly but surely dying right in front of his eyes.

Growing up, Levi had learnt that you could not rely on anyone. That solitude was the best way. But he had met Izzy and Farlan and then he’d learnt about the meaning of family. Afterward, he had met Erwin and learnt about partnership. 

And then he had met the rest of the  _ Wings of Freedom  _ and learnt about teamwork. The sound of two Battlestars coming into close proximity sent a wave of relief through him. He had put his life in the hands of others, and they were there when it mattered.  

As he watched Erwin get picked up and placed in Team Condor's ship, his uncle’s words rang through his head. 

_ Ya can't trust anyone. Teamwork gets ya’ dead. Partners just hurt you. You have to protect the things ya’ care about yourself.  _

Kenny was wrong. 

* * *

Battlestar Starling had picked up Levi and dropped him off on the main ship, landing in the hangar bay seconds after the Condor. As soon as he jumped out of the Battlestar, medics swarmed Levi trying to check his vitals. He pushed them away angrily, desperate to get to Erwin. He needed to make sure Erwin was okay. That was all that mattered, all that would ever matter. A drift partner became an extension of one's soul, and every part of Levi’s mind was screaming at him to  _ protect Erwin. _ Tunnel vision barely even allowed him to notice the other two Battlestars take flight again to eliminate the remaining Titans. He barely noticed Hanji running towards him to tell him to wait. He was panicking, his chest tight. He needed to be by Erwin's side. He ran down the hallway, jogging to keep up with the medics who were wheeling Erwin to the sickbay.

“Ackerman, stay here,” one of them growled when he tried to round the corner with them.

"I have to- I have to be there with him, you don't get it-" His words fell on deaf ears as the medic signaled the guards. His arms were locked behind his back, and Levi found himself kicking and struggling against their hold, spewing curses. Why didn't they get it? Why didn't they  _ understand _ ? He had to be there, had to be with Erwin. Erwin was his partner; it was his job to make sure he was  _ safe _ .

God, there was so much blood.

And Erwin, Erwin looked so small. He looked so incredibly consumed by the blood-stained sheets that covered the entire right side of his body.

“Go back to your cell,” the medic said firmly, even though Levi was not predisposed to listen. “We’ll get you when you can visit.”

Levi let out a roar of frustration and ripped away from the guards.

"Fine. I'm going; I'm  _ going _ !” He hissed, turning on his heel and storming down the corridor in a flurry of nervous energy. He didn’t remember how he made it back to their cell, didn't even remember taking off his blood-covered suit. 

Erwin’s blood.

He paced the room like a caged animal, feeling like he wouldn’t be able to do  _ anything _ , think anything until he knew that Erwin was out of the woods.

He kicked the door, then the bed – that stubbed his toe. Then he flopped down onto his cot, thrumming with nerves.

Erwin could have died. Erwin could still die.

He pushed himself up, reaching under the pillow. His hand closed around Erwin’s token – the Star of David the man had given him. He looked at it, unable to focus on a single thought.

Sighing deeply, he put it around his neck, clutching the pendant in his hand.

Sleep never came. Neither did news about Erwin, not until the second day.

* * *

He only slept for two fitful hours before crawling back to the sickbay. One look at him seemed to have been enough for the nurse to reconsider banning him from the area, and she let him stay, providing that he did not accost every medic who came down the corridor. So he just sat there, slumped against the wall next to the door. Waiting. Waiting.

Hours dragged by but he wasn't bored. He was just there. His thoughts didn't race anymore. Instead, there was a strange emptiness in his mind which brought him a weird kind of perverse pleasure. He didn't have to think anymore; he just had to pray that the next time he saw Erwin, those blue eyes would be open.

He lost track of the hours as they ticked by. Hanji came, offering him food from the mess hall, but he refused.

He couldn’t stomach anything even if he tried.

Mike stopped by as well, offering Levi a pat on the shoulder – his own personal way of reassuring people. Levi accepted it without really feeling the contact.

Finally, after almost twenty hours, the door opened. Levi shot up.

"He's stable," the medic said, snapping off his gloves which were covered in red. "You can go in and see him; they took him to the recovery center. Just don't be… uh, emotional."

He walked off, grumbling something about not getting paid enough for this shit.

Levi broke into a run as soon as the man blocking the door was gone. He ran faster than he had ever done before – faster than he had back in the day when escaping the police back on Earth. He ran like his life depended on it, and a belated thought came into his head that in a way, yes, it did.

He burst through the door of the recovery center only to be glared at and shushed by the nursing staff. Subdued, he walked towards the farthermost cot, where a familiar figure lay, a burst of blond against white sheets.

Levi stopped in his tracks. His stomach dropped, legs refusing to move.

Erwin lay in bed with his eyes open, completely motionless. His chest heaved as he breathed, but that was about it. He blinked. Levi exhaled, grabbing a small stool and sitting down on the right side of Erwin’s bed. He wanted to reach out and comfort Erwin - but couldn't.

Levi couldn’t hold his hand.

There was no hand to hold.

There was no arm at all, up past the elbow.

Erwin's head turned, and Levi was leveled with a weary gaze. God, he looked tired. So, so tired. And old, even. Somehow, the experience of the past hours had managed to age him.

Levi didn’t know what to say, so he just sat there, staring dumbly at his partner.

“...  Levi,” Erwin exhaled, his words barely above a whisper. “You’re alright. I was worried.”

That made Levi snap out of his lethargic state and glare at the man whose blank expression was frankly scarier than the Titans outside.

“You were worried?!” He snapped, gripping the bottom of his stool in a white-knuckled grasp. “You nearly died, Erwin.”

Erwin looked at him impassively.

“But I didn’t.”

Levi scoffed, his throat tightening. Always so nonchalant about himself, the stupid, self-sacrificial moron.

“You came pretty fucking close.”  

Erwin furrowed his brows at that, and Levi found himself latching on to the motion, considering it a victory of sorts. At least Erwin was still in there.

“I’m sorry.”

Levi stared at Erwin incredulously.

“Don’t fucking apologize.”

“I’m sorry I scared you.”   

“You didn’t-,”

Levi cut himself off. Whom was he even kidding? Of course, he'd been scared. Of course, he had been grasping at the pendant around his neck like it was the only thing that had tethered him to the reality in which Erwin was alive.

Of course, he had faced the abyss in which he was alone.

There was no point in lying to Erwin. Erwin always saw through the bullshit anyways.  Saw into his mind. Saw the truth.

So maybe being honest, for once, wouldn't hurt.

"You can't leave me, Erwin. Not you too," he murmured, looking down at his knees. He couldn't bear facing Erwin right now. He didn't want the raw emotion of the moment to touch Erwin, the man who had gone and risked himself for what? For the good of humankind? Humankind that had sent him to the gutter, with people like Levi? Worthless, vile creatures?

He heard the sheets rustle minutely as Erwin shifted a little.

“I won’t leave you, Levi. I promise.”

That made him look up, gracing Erwin with a hard look.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

Erwin sighed.

“Come closer, Levi.”

“No.”

“Please.”

Something in Erwin tone spurred Levi into action before he could even think about it properly and he found himself scooting closer toward the bed on the tiny clinic stool.

He waited with baited breath what was going to happen, and his breath stilled in his lungs as he watched Erwin lift his left hand and lean over, brushing it over Levi's cheek. He hadn't even had the time to flinch back; everything seemed to have slowed down, including his own reactions.

The pad of Erwin’s thumb ghosted over his cheekbone, and Levi finally jerked back.

"This wasn't your fault, Levi. Nothing is going to happen to me. I'm all right," Erwin's voice carried a slow, patient tone as if he were explaining the world to a child. Levi leaned back even more, his legs ready to make him stand and turn on his heel if Erwin didn't see reason.

"If you haven't noticed, Erwin, you lost your fucking limb," Levi said hotly. "It happened because of me because I-,"

“Don’t even finish that sentence,” Erwin said seriously. Levi glanced at him in surprise. He had never seen Erwin this grave. “It was not your fault. It was never your fault. They were not your fault.”

Levi just sat there, fighting back the prickling sensation at the corners of his eyes, his throat thick with emotion.

Erwin wasn’t talking about himself. Not just himself.  

Erwin had seen them. Farlan and Isabel.

Erwin had seen them, and he thought Levi wasn't the one to blame.

Levi tried to get himself under control.

“Tell me, Levi,” Erwin whispered, his eyes pinning his partner down, making him stay and making him talk in ways that no amount of interrogation or torture could ever do.

“I…” Levi inhaled sharply.

“I grew up in the slums,” he began cautiously.

"I had no family, except for a shitty uncle who cared more about selling drugs for cash than putting food on the table. I'm not short because I have bad genes, you know? I'm like this because I never actually ate growing up. So this… uh, this place, it's… it's like a gift for me."

Erwin looked at him; his face a mask of horrified awe. Erwin had seen bits and pieces of his life through syncs, had known what he went through, but now Levi is freely giving him this information.  Erwin parted his lips, wanting to say something-

"No. No talking. You asked so just… Just let me say this." Levi didn't want Erwin to know this, but he'd rather Erwin heard it from him than from a forced memory that wasn't his. Erwin had asked, and Erwin asked for so little from him.

"Gangs were the only thing I knew. I wasn't good at anything but killing and cleaning up other killers' messes. Years passed, and I eventually become the gang leader. Not proud of the things I did, but I did what I had to survive," Levi said, feeling that now that he had begun talking, it was as if floodgates had been opened wide.

" It wasn't until I bumped into Farlan and Izzy that I learned what real family meant. I don't know what they saw in me, but they showed me there was more to life than gangs and selling drugs. They… they made me feel like I had a home. Like I could do good by them. Izzy… called me her elder brother. She called me bro."

Levi inhaled, blinking back the prickling sensation.

“So I tried to leave it, put that life behind me. But it wasn't easy. I had made a pretty big list of enemies.”

"One day, a member of another gang took Izzy and Farlan. They were slaughtered in front of me. I was so angry, I was… I saw red; my entire body was just… I couldn't really control it. I don't even remember killing them. But I did. It happened so quickly and messily that I couldn't clean up my tracks."

“The cops were just waiting for me to fuck up so they could lock me up for life. And I handed them that opportunity on a silver platter. And here I am.

"I wasn't even able to go their funeral. I lost everything that day."

Erwin looked at Levi with such softness in his gaze; it was almost unbearable.

“ I can’t go through that again. I can't lose you too. I just… can’t,” Levi finished in a whisper, his hands clenched into fists. He felt Erwin’s left hand on his own and found himself being pulled forward, closer, closer, so close that his forehead was touching Erwin’s.

“I am not going anywhere, Levi.”

Levi wanted so badly to believe him. But he had come so close to losing Erwin. So close to being alone again.

He pulled back, nodding, if not to Erwin, then to himself.

Before he could sit back completely, Erwin’s hand shot out and grabbed the pendant around his neck.

“I like this one,” he said, his voice amused and somehow warm. There was a spark in his eyes and Levi, for the life of him, could never resist that spark.

“Yeah,” he breathed, his eyelashes sticking together with those stupid, stupid tears. “Some idiot gave it to me.”

* * *

Several days went by like this, with Levi keeping vigil by Erwin’s bedside. He did everything for the man – fetched his food, changed him, helped him with his sponge baths. Not once did any sexual thought cross his mind; in fact, all he felt when he did those things was extreme tenderness. He wanted Erwin to stay, and he wanted to make sure he recovered well.

Erwin, on the other hand, was getting restless. He hated just sitting in bed and doing nothing. The medics, however, had been very clear with their orders: he had to stay in the sick bay for another week to make sure no complications arose. He was also very irritated that when he read, he had to ask Levi to turn pages for him.

Apparently,  _ that _ was the worst thing about not having an arm.  

When that got too humiliating and tiring for him, he took to pestering Levi about sneaking him out.

"I'm alright, Levi. I don't need to be babied like this."

Levi scoffed.

“Doctors orders. So stop your whining,” he said, placing Erwin’s tea onto the bedside table and sitting down next to the bed.

“Please.”

Those eyes were too blue, and Erwin knew it.

“No.”

“Pretty please?”

“You did not just say that,” Levi said, rolling his eyes.

“C’mon, Levi, I can’t just stay here all cooped up, like a bedridden patient!”

“You  _ are  _ a bedridden patient,” Levi retorted, pinching the bridge of his nose in irritation. Sometimes Erwin did act like an entitled little brat.

“You can have the extra blanket.”

“No.”

“And mine too.”

“No deal.”

“I’ll give you the rice pudding every time they have it at the mess hall. For a year.”

“No way.”

“Think about it, Levi, a whole year.”

“We talking Earth years or Venus years?” Levi asked, making Erwin bristle.

“You’re mean.”

“I’m a criminal. Sue me.”

“Levi!”

“Oh my God,  _ fine _ !” Levi snapped, finally unable to stand the whining. It was remarkable how the experience seemed not at all humiliating to Erwin who was shining like a new penny.

“Fine. Let's go. Fifteen-minute walk. That's it.”

* * *

It wasn’t that hard to sneak out when the medics changed shifts, and soon enough, the two of them were walking down the deserted corridor. It was around midnight, give or take, so everyone was already fast asleep. It was just the two of them, walking in amiable silence together, wandering down the familiar path towards the hangar deck.

Levi realized his mistake when Erwin stopped short, eyeing the grounded Battlestars.

Erwin’s left hand went to his right shoulder and slipped down, touching the stump of his arm.

The weight of the silence between them said it all.

Erwin was worried that he couldn’t be a pilot anymore. That he'd have nothing to fight for.

This is what it meant to be drift compatible. Words weren't needed.  Levi knew what Erwin was thinking because he knew how his mind worked. And Erwin's pain was Levi's pain right now

Levi sighed, leaning back against the wall.

“You don’t need your right arm to pilot the Battlestars,” he said. Erwin turned back to look at him, about to contradict but Levi put up a hand to stop him. Erwin’s mouth snapped shut.

“You just need me.”

Erwin’s gaze met his.

“Let me be your right hand, Erwin.”

Suddenly, Erwin was close. Too close. So close that Levi felt the warmth of his breath as he looked at him, frozen on the spot. The tension made his skin rise up in goosebumps.

This was not good.

Not good for his heart.

“Levi,” Erwin began, “I…”

Silence. For once, Erwin Smith was speechless.

Levi tried to use the pause to pull away,  turning to go back down the hallway before Erwin could formulate a proper sentence. His heart was going crazy in his chest, fluttering about like a fucking overgrown moth. And he didn't want to wait around for the rejection that was bound to happen.

“Don’t go, Levi.”

Levi turned back, wanting to say something biting.

Erwin reached out his right hand instinctively to grab Levi’s wrist – but couldn’t. He just stood there, looking strangely vulnerable, for a split second, and then used his left to wrap around Levi’s wrist.

“Don't run away from this, Levi.”  

The two of them stood there, rooted to the spot. Levi was pretty sure he was no longer breathing at all. But he was also sure that Erwin wasn't either. Their eyes locked and the tension of the past months seemed to escalate at that moment, making him lean forward to meet Erwin.

He watched in horrified fascination as Erwin ducked his head, bringing them closer still.

He felt Erwin’s breath ghost over his lips-

_ “Let go of her! Stop!” _

Instinctively, Levi grabbed Erwin and pulled him into a storage alcove, just as the hangar door burst open, and multiple sets of footsteps resounded through the deck area.

Guards. Four of them, with a fifth leading the charge. They were dragging something. Someone.

Kicking and screaming. Two someones.

Levi’s eyes widened when he realized who it was and he found himself grasping Erwin’s wrist in a vice-like grip.

“You can’t do this to us! We’re going  _ home _ !”

“Prisoners ascribed to Battlestar Starling, you are hereby executed for the crimes you have committed,” a bored voice recited. Levi watched, as if in slow motion, as the duo, their partners in battle, were dragged towards the airlock and pushed inside.

“The fleet thanks you for your service.”

He watched as both of them, screaming soundlessly, banged their fists on the glass of the door as the guard opened the control panel and pressed the button.

He watched as the airlock opened behind Ymir and Krista and the void of open space appeared.

Then, they were gone.


	6. The Reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin and Levi talk. And then talk some more. There are new faces in the Battlestar hangar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, we're garbage. Yeah, officially. But, to be fair, one of us has her psychotherapy internship and the other is on a life-altering adventure in Thailand (thoughts and prayers for her to get back in one piece because so far, it's been sunburns and sprains). 
> 
> But, we're back with a new chapter. Which may or may not be second to last. May or may not. We don't know yet and we like keeping the intrigue going.

_“Ackerman, Smith, meet Team Starling. These two transferred here from the Northern Rose.”_

_Levi’s eyes were dark and brooding as he observed the newcomers. Two girls, which was already a rarity here; most partnerships were either opposite-sex or male-and-male. This already set them apart from the rest; and perhaps even set them up for some pretty stiff competition. Afterall, most people in the wings weren’t just fighting for the sake of killing titans, they were fighting for their freedom and chance at a glorious redo button.  Increased competition around these parts for prisoners was a threat.  Not many soldiers aboard the Wings would take kindly to a couple of girls taking over their territory.  Levi wasn’t one of them, and he was pretty sure that Erwin wasn’t either; but it was still going to be hard for these two to establish themselves as anything but just a couple of pretty faces._

_Well, one of them really did have a pretty face. She was a minuscule blonde with wide blue eyes – bluer than Erwin’s, which was already a feat, in Levi’s mind._

_The other one was downright intimidating – not pretty by conventional standards, she still managed to attract attention. She gave Erwin and Levi a once-over, before finally shaking hands with both of them consecutively. The little one seemed to almost shrink into her side, as if she was trying to enmesh herself with the tall girl._

_“Ymir,” the tall girl said. “Pleasure, I’m sure.”_

_“Just Ymir?” Levi asked, arching an eyebrow._

_“Just Ymir. Don’t care much for my last name. Left that back on Earth.”_

_Erwin and he exchanged looks._

_“I’m Lenz. Krista Lenz,” the smaller girl spoke up. Levi knew right then and there that everyone in this damn place was either going to be after her hide or adore her to the point of unhealthy veneration. That was how these things worked with pretty girls. They didn’t last long. Although something about Ymir’s demeanor told him that Krista would be a lucky survivor. And those who harassed her… wouldn’t be._

_“Are you ready to have your asses kicked?” Ymir asked, distracting the two men from Krista. Yeah, definitely protective-obsessive. Interesting._

_“That’s not why we’re here,” Erwin said. Levi rolled his eyes. Erwin was in full-on righteous legendary defender of the universe mode. “We’re here to fight the Titans. Not each other.”_

_Ymir gave him an amused smile. They were certainly going to return to this particular conversation at some point. “Fine, Chuckles. Just don’t get all pouty when you bite our dust.”_

_Levi pushed himself in front of Erwin, his posture intimidating despite the fact that Ymir was quite a bit taller than he was. He didn't allow Ymir's amusement to deter him. If she were really as good as she made herself out to be, she would know how serious they were._

_“Bring it.”_

* * *

The entire route back to medical was a blur. Muscle memory guided their way as a million different waves of emotion washed over the pair as they walked back numbly.

_Anger, Shock, Denial._

Not a word was said between the two, partly because they were trying to avoid being caught, and partly because there was nothing to say. Levi glanced from time to time at Erwin – a face that he felt, after so many syncs, he could read like a book, but there was nothing. No expression, just a hard mask Levi wished he could rip off and figure out. He wanted to know what Erwin was thinking; he wanted to know what _he_ was supposed to be thinking. This entire situation was just… fucked. Completely and utterly fucked.

They returned to medical and Levi found himself perched on his usual chair. He wrung his hands nervously in his lap, feeling the heaviness of the silence start to pile on his shoulders.

Erwin just sat on his cot, his face a perfect profile in front of Levi’s. He said nothing, his jaw locked and his pulse working against the fine pale skin of his temple. His eyes reminded Levi of what he’d seen fish in books looked like – flat. Dead, almost.

 _We’re going to die._ The thought came and went, and Levi’s attempts to discover how he felt about it finally yielded a result: anger.

He stood, turning to look down at Erwin.

“What did we just witness?”

Erwin turned towards him but said nothing.

“Erwin.” Levi grabbed the back of his chair, his knuckles white. “You’re not going to say anything?”

Erwin shifted a little on his cot, almost as if he was shrugging.

“For fuck’s sakes,” Levi breathed. He turned away to pace around the room, his hands shaking with agitation. “Talk to me.”

Erwin sighed and leaned back against his pillow.

“I said _talk to me!_ ”

He had no idea how it happened, but suddenly his knuckles hurt – and the wall suddenly had a dent in it.

“ _Fuck!_ ”

“Levi, calm down.”

Levi spun around, clutching his injured hand to his chest. “Oh, _now_ you’re talking to me?”

Erwin sat up a little, his eyes pitying. “Calm down.”

“Calm down. _Calm down?!_ You expected me to just sit tight after what… after _that_? They’re going to _kill_ us if–,”

“Lower your voice,” Erwin said, his voice unexpectedly sharp but still quiet. Levi would have been straining to hear him if he wasn’t so fucking _attuned_ to the man. If he didn’t _care_ so much.

“Erwin, we’re _nothing_ to them,” Levi hissed, leaning over the railing of Erwin’s cot. “Nothing! They were never going to let us go, all this–,” he gestured around himself, “–was a big fucking _lie_!”

Erwin blinked. “It appears so.”

“Is that _all_ you’re gonna _fucking say_?” Levi eyed him incredulously.

“What do you want me to say?” Erwin asked, finally showing some exasperation. “We’re just going to have to go on doing what we’ve been doing. It was never about us. Sacrifices need to be made–,”

“I’m _nobody’s_ sacrifice,” Levi growled. “You hear me?! I didn’t come all this way to _die_ while they get to–,”

“What do you propose?” Erwin asked, cocking his head to the side.

“This is about _us_! This is about getting you _home_ to your picket fence and your fucking dog and a kid and whatever the fuck else you wanted because you _deserve_ it–,”

“Now what?”

"Are you really going to make me say it? Erwin, you lost your arm during the last fight. We are useless to them. It's all my fucking fault, and I'm _sorry_ , I should’ve–,”

"Don't apologize, Levi." Erwin's voice was soft, and Levi's heart was fragile, and it took him all of his willpower not to break down. "It's not your fault. It will never be your fault."

Guilt stabbed through Levi and Erwin winced as if he could feel the pain in Levi's stomach; the horrible, hollow feeling of it.

“Levi, it’s not your fault,” he said. “I promise you that.”

“Erwin, shit, you lost your arm,” Levi said in a rush. “You know what that means.”

Erwin’s jaw worked in a way that indicated he knew _exactly_ what that meant.

“Erwin, we gotta get the fuck out of here,” Levi said urgently. “We just need–,”

“Levi, that’s impossible.”

“Erwin, damn it, I am _not_ letting you fucking _die_!”

“Levi, we’ll find a way to be useful to them in some other capacity, I’m sure–,”

“Would you listen to yourself?!” Levi looked at Erwin incredulously. “How can you still _say_ that? After what we’ve seen–,”

“– _shhh!_ –”

“–after what we’ve _seen_ in that fucking hangar,” Levi finished in a stage whisper. “You know they’re not going to waste precious food on us.”

Erwin looked at him gravely. “Levi, I’m sorry I’m putting you in this position–,”

“Fuck that!” Levi was red-faced and angry and definitely not amused. “Fuck you and your apologies! I don’t care what happened and how many fucking limbs you have, Erwin! We’re a goddamn team. And we’re going to get out of this together.”

Erwin smiled at him wanly.

“What?”

“Makes me happy that you refer to the two of us as a team, Levi,” he said kindly, and Levi fought the urge to throttle him.  Fucking smiling at a time like this.

“But I don’t want to jeopardize the other prisoners’ safety for my own sake, and the officers–,”

“They all knew,” Levi interrupted, and for a moment, he thought Erwin would cry, but the man just looked at him as if he had expected these words. “Erwin, did you hear me? They knew. They all knew. Mike, Nanaba, fucking… fucking _Hanji_ knew that we weren’t getting out of here alive! This was all–,”

“How do you know that they were all in on it?” Erwin asked, frowning. “You gave too little faith in people–,”

“Did we not just witness the same shit? That was clearly not a spur of the moment thing, Erwin! Call it a gut feeling or whatever. It’s how this fucking system works! It pits us against it each other!”

"Even if that is true, they were just doing their jobs, Levi," Erwin said. Their eyes met, and Levi saw the coolness slip back into place - behind Erwin's gaze. "They were doing their jobs, and they did them well."

Levi looked at him incredulously, his heart hammering in his chest. He felt almost as though his entire body had been dunked into icy cold water. They were really going to die. They were going to die, and Erwin was making it seem as though it was nothing. Almost as if he didn't care about his own life – or Levi's.

“I can’t do this.” Levi’s feet carried him to the door, and he heard Erwin stir on the bed behind him.

“Levi, where are you going?”

“Out,” Levi spat. “To get some fucking air,” he said, storming out without a single backward glance.

* * *

Levi didn’t remember how, but he ended up in Hanji’s office, leaning over their desk as they cowered beneath his gaze.

“You _knew_ , didn’t you?!” He spat, making Hanji flinch.

“Knew what?”

Did Hanji really think he was that fucking _stupid_? He thought he could trust them, he thought they were actually becoming friends. Maybe he was stupid, stupid for ever believing that someone like him could have a friend.

“Don’t you _fucking dare_ pretend like you have no idea what I’m talking about,” Levi growled, leaning over and picking Hanji up by the lapel of their lab coat. Well, that at least got their attention.

“You _knew_ this was all a fucking set up!” He yelled in their face, shaking with rage. “You knew that we aren’t getting out of this alive and you–,”

“–Levi–,”

“–you made us _believe_ that we had a way out!” Levi raged on. “You made _Erwin_ believe, you piece of shit–,”

“–Levi, please, calm down–,”

“No, Hanji, I will _not_ calm down!”

Their eyes met, and for a moment, Levi thought he saw some remorse there. Some sort of… well, some sort of understanding. He refused to see it, though; and pushed down any sympathy that threatened to break his anger.

“You can call the guards and have me escorted back to the brig if you want to. You can throw me out the airlock right now,” Levi said, his voice quiet and deadly. Hanji seemed to catch on to the mood, and their hand slipped away from the panic button on the underside of their desk. _Coward,_ Levi thought with a scowl.

“But don’t you _dare_ go anywhere near Erwin and me again."

There was a pause, and then Hanji nodded, almost imperceptibly. With that, Levi turned on his heel and stormed out of the room, making the guards at the door outside flinch.

He didn’t see Hanji lean over their desk and bury their face in their hands, glasses and all. Anger thrummed through his veins, spurring his muscles on as he walked down the hallways, glaring at everyone who dared pass by him.

The room he shared with Erwin seemed so far away, and when he finally reached it, he childishly thought that it was a shame the doors here slid apart instead of opening like the ones he'd seen on Earth. He would have loved to slam a door right now.

Instead, he sat down onto the bed, suddenly tired. Tired and alone. This was the first time he had been alone, without Erwin by his side, for such a long time. The man was either literally in his head during their training and missions, or he would be there, sitting on his now empty cot with a book in his hand, supplying dull, everyday banter.

Levi kind of missed it.

* * *

The next morning, he returned to the medical bay to see Erwin sit up in his cot, looking slightly better but still weirdly gaunt. It was almost as if the injury hadn't just taken Erwin's arm – but also part of his youth. As if he had aged a decade just by laying in a hospital bed.

The thought was more disturbing than what Levi had anticipated it to be.

“We alone?” Levi asked, plopping down onto the stool by Erwin’s bed and looking around. He was pretty sure he’d made enough of an impression on the guards outside the night before – they were certifiably terrified of him.

Erwin sighed, setting aside the leaflet he had been reading for lack of better literature – a propaganda recruitment booklet. Like anyone would ever _want_ to join their ranks; besides idiots like Mike and Nanaba.

“It would appear so,” Erwin said, his voice a little scratchy from disuse. “I was hoping you’d come back last night but… I understand that you wanted to be alone. Process things.” He saw the expression on Levi’s face and sighed. “Are you alright?”

That seemed to be enough to set Levi’s already volatile mood on edge yet again. “No, you idiot,” he growled, scooting his stool closer to Erwin’s bed with a deafening screech of metal on tile.

“I’m angry as fuck,” he hissed. “And you should be too.”

Erwin looked at Levi as though he had only just informed him that air was twenty-one percent oxygen. "I know."

“Then why the _fuck_ are you so calm?” Levi whispered. “Why the _fuck_ aren’t you shitting yourself right now? Coming up with _plans_ and _inspirational bullshit_ like you always do?!”

Erwin held his gaze for a long moment. "Honestly?" He paused and then leaned back against the pillow. "I never managed to picture getting off this ship. Being back on Earth. When… things happened with Nile and Marie, and I ended up here… it was a nice dream, what you had for me. A picket fence and a dog."

"Isn't… that what it is?" Levi asked, confusion pushing the anger out of his mind for a brief second.

Erwin gave him a wistful look. “That is what you thought my dream was, wasn’t it?”

“Isn’t that what you white-collar types like?” Levi asked, frowning. “Wife, kid, job?”

Erwin chuckled. “I am simply glad I had something to fight for. A cause–,”

He didn’t get to finish that sentence before Levi grabbed him by the front of his hospital gown. “ _Bullshit_ , Erwin. They _used_ you. The _used_ us!”

“I know–,”

Levi's hand made a loud noise when it came in contact with Erwin's cheek. They looked at each other. Erwin's face, which was supposed to be angry – at the system, at his situation, at _Levi_ for smacking him, _damn it_ – was calm and almost serene. It was unnerving.

“I don’t want to hear it,” Levi hissed through gritted teeth as he sat back down, his fingers curled over the edge of the stool. He hated lashing out like this.

“Then what is it that you’d like me to say?” Erwin asked evenly.

Levi glanced down at his knees. He swallowed thickly, thinking back to how cold the room had been the night before. How strange it had been not to have Erwin in his mind.

“Let’s make a run for it,” he said, his voice barely above a murmur, just in case they were listening in on them. “Let’s… steal a pod and get away from all of this.”

When he didn’t hear a response from Erwin, he looked up to see the man with a wry smile on his face. “How romantic.”

“Oh, fuck off, Erwin,” Levi scoffed, even though he was fighting a laugh – hysterical or not, that was yet to be determined. “Let’s just… go before they kill us.”

Erwin gave him an unimpressed look. “We are still wanted criminals. You know as well as I do that we wouldn’t last five minutes on our own out there.”

“So?” Levi lifted an eyebrow. This crazy idea was starting to seem less crazy now that he had gotten Erwin’s attention. “We’re gonna die anyway. Might as well die trying.”

“Levi, they’ll just go on killing other prisoners even if we _do_ get away,” Erwin said. “The system–,”

“Not my problem,” Levi said haughtily. “Far as I’m concerned, I paid my dues.”

“Not to mention, the Wing are fighting for humanity, whether you like their methods or not.”

Levi snorted. “Fucking hell, Erwin, why the fuck are you so…”

“What?” Erwin asked, amused.

“So _good_! You’re a fucking creep is what you are, Erwin Smith,” Levi told Erwin who smiled at him knowingly. He’d apparently been told that before.

“Are you just going to serve yourself up on a silver platter?” Levi asked, glancing at the doors. He knew that beyond those, there were hallways and airlocks and the deep vastness of space, but he couldn’t help but think just how _close_ it all was. Closer than he had ever imagined it to be.

“Are you just going to let them continue to lie and kill people?”

He started when he felt Erwin’s hand on his own. “The fuck are you doing?”

“I never said that,” Erwin whispered, affixing Levi with his piercing blue gaze.

Levi slipped his hand out of his grasp as if burnt. “Then what the fuck are you saying, Erwin? Because I refuse to sit here on my hands and pretend that everything’s okay.”

"You won't have to," Erwin replied and went quiet. That made Levi want to smack him once more because _how dare_ he be this cryptic.

“Finish your fucking sentence, Smith, or I swear _to God_ –,”

“I want to take over the Wings.”

"Beg pardon?" Levi asked before his mind managed to catch up with his tongue. He stared at Erwin and Erwin stared right back and holy fuck did Erwin Smith have a flair for the dramatic.

Still, he wasn’t too cruel of a man, so he sighed, getting comfortable against the backrest.

"There's no denying that the fight against the Titans is important," he said, putting his left hand up when Levi opened his mouth to interrupt. "We are needed here, Levi. But it's also true that the way it is currently run, the way they're killing prisoners… it needs to stop. Lies cannot serve as a foundation for a peaceful society."

“Aren’t you a fucking philosopher,” Levi commented in a grumble.

Erwin looked at him warmly. "If we run, this cycle will go on, and this structure will crumble. Soldiers will stop signing up, and prisoners aren't enough to support it. Which means that humanity itself will lose the only defense it has against the Titans."

“So…?”

“So we cannot run. We need to change things from within.”

Levi looked at him blankly, piecing things together. “Are you telling me you want to run this space dumpster?”

Erwin laughed at that, suddenly years younger. “I suppose I am, yes.”

This was nuts. Running away was one thing, but running the fucking _station_? Levi felt like this was a horrible idea just waiting to blow up in their faces.

But Erwin’s hand just now had been warm.

And their room had felt empty.

“Fine,” he sighed.

"Fine?" Erwin asked as if he couldn't really believe what he was hearing.

“I said fine!” Levi stage-whispered. “Let’s plan a coup, Marshall Smith.”

Erwin’s mouth quirked. “Marshall Smith?”

Levi shrugged. “Has a nice ring to it.”

* * *

The next morning, the two of them walked down the hallway to Hanji’s office after medical had given Erwin the all-clear. Or what they said was an all-clear when really, Levi knew, they were probably ticking off the _to-kill_ box next to Erwin’s name. And his.

Yes, that was how he pictured it. A _to-kill_ box, because this bureaucratic mess of a ship was inevitably going to murder them in the most prosaic way.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Levi asked, glancing at the taller man with worry. He really, really didn’t want to put his faith into someone like Hanji – not after everything that had been said between them.

“Levi, I have a good feeling about this.”

 _A good feeling_ , Levi grimaced. Of course. Erwin and his good feelings needed to shove it.

Before he even lifted his hand to knock, the doors slid open to reveal a very guilty-looking Hanji.

“We’ve come to talk to you,” Erwin said, and Levi rolled his eyes. That much was obvious.

Hanji nodded, stepping aside to let them come into the office wordlessly. The doors slid shut, and Levi threw himself into one of the armchairs in front of Hanji's desk while the owner of the office just stood there uncomfortably. It wasn't often that Levi felt like he had the moral high ground; so forgive him for basking a little bit in it.

“How’s your arm?” Hanji ventured, glancing at Erwin who gave them a sardonic look.

“You mean my lack of one?” He asked casually, making both Levi and Hanji wince. “Adequately amputated, thank you for asking.”

Okay, Hanji deserved that. Nevertheless, Levi did feel a little bit of doubt seep into his punitiveness when they walked over to their desk and collapsed into their chair tiredly.

“I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness–,”

“–damn right,” Levi interrupted and gave them a dark glare.

“–but I want to ask for it anyway,” Hanji continued, their voice much more subdued than their usual, boisterous one. They looked up at Erwin beseechingly. “And I want you to know that I… I hate this policy. I’ve spent _years_ trying to convince the brass to let the prisoners go and grant them the freedom they – _you_ – were promised.”

Levi narrowed his eyes. “And why would we believe you?”

Hanji sighed deeply and reached over for their tablet, making Levi’s hair stand on end. What if they were going to call the guards and have them executed right now? He glanced at Erwin who just shook his head subtly and forced himself to relax.

“Here.”

Levi took the tablet Hanji proffered to him. “What am I looking at?”

“Years of correspondence between me and the top brass on the subject.”

Erwin moved to look over Levi's shoulder, and he found himself momentarily distracted by his warmth against his back.

_… ineffective and inhumane…_

_… moral integrity…_

_… a sacrifice much larger than the cause itself…_

Levi looked up from the tablet and met Hanji’s eye. “Fine,” he said, nearly throwing the tablet back down onto the table. Hanji made no move to pick it back up.

"I tried, Levi," Hanji said, their eyes filled with sorrow, "but nobody would listen. I have no traction with them; I am just a scientist here, my military rank is only on paper."

Erwin sat down into the second chair finally. “We believe you, Hanji.”

“We do?” Levi asked skeptically, only to be shushed by Erwin’s grave gaze.

“We believe you. And we want to offer you a chance to change things,” Erwin continued.

Hanji’s eyebrows rose to meet their hairline. “How?”

“A coup,” Erwin said calmly.

“A coup,” Hanji repeated, glancing at Levi who just shrugged in a very _that’s what we’re going with_ way. “You two want to stage a rebellion aboard this ship? You know that’s crazy, right?”

Erwin leaned forward, crowding Hanji behind their very desk. “The question is whether you are crazy enough to help up do it.”

Hanji’s eyes went even wider behind their glasses which magnified them to impossible proportions. Then they burst out laughing. Loudly. Very loudly. A little maniacally, too, from what Levi knew about maniacs.

“You two are something else,” Hanji finally said, still giggling when they’d mostly calmed down.

Erwin lifted an eyebrow.

“Oh, fine. Fine,” Hanji said. “I’ll help. Long as when you take over, you let me do my research on Titans.”

Erwin smiled at them. “Like you, I do believe that science is the answer. Not warfare.”

Levi watched them share a silent moment of… understanding? Which was very creepy, considering they were just sitting there and smiling at each other. “Ahem.”

“Oh, right.” Hanji shook their head. “Uh… well, you will need more people to support you, right?”

“Obviously,” Levi said, rolling his eyes. “You need a lot of people for a rebellion. You sure you’ve got a doctorate?”

Hanji ignored him and addressed Erwin instead. “Whom do you have in mind?”

* * *

It was pretty easy to convince Mike and Nanaba to join their cause – apparently, both of them had been convinced that the prisoners were actually being set free after their service. Erwin's hunch had been correct: Mike was livid, and Nanaba had almost burst into tears, launching herself at Levi to hug him when she realized what that meant for the two of them.

Soon, Levi and Erwin were officially allowed to return to their training to see whether drifting would be harder with Erwin’s missing arm. To their surprise, when Hanji ushered them into the hangar, they were met with the Lieutenant who was talking to two young men in pilot garb.

“Ah, Hanji.” The Lieutenant saluted them and ignored Levi and Erwin, who glanced curiously at the new couple. “These are Bertolt Hoover and Reiner Braun.”

Levi snorted at their ridiculous names. Bertolt and Reiner? The fuck did they come from?

The two new pilots – and now that Levi was closer, he could see their prison numbers embossed on the breast pockets of their uniforms – were tall and obviously nervous. The brunet was a fucking beanpole, sweating profusely all over the hangar floor as he saluted Hanji with a shaky hand. His partner, a shorter, sturdier man with an unpleasantly neutral face and a standard-issue haircut, avoided their eyes as he greeted the doctor.

Levi frowned when he realized he knew the blond. Braun. This was Braun, the same idiot he’d fought with what seemed like _eons_ ago. It looked like the army was really looking for scraps, because there was _no way in hell_ this moron was fit to be a Battlestar pilot.

His eyes slid to the tall one again. Bertolt had the face of a secret service worker – absolutely not memorable at all, it was; that was why Levi had to do a double take. Besides his fucking weird sweating and his immense height, there was nothing remarkable about the man.

“Team Cuckoo.”

Levi fought the urge to laugh again. What a fitting ridiculous name for the pair.

“Meet team Sparrow. These are Erwin Smith and Levi Ackerman, our best prisoner pilots,” the Lieutenant said with a touch of pride to his tone. Levi really wanted to snarl at him now. Best and soon to be dead prisoner pilots.

“Good to see you’re still alive,” Reiner said, meeting Levi’s eye.

“Good to see you’re still a fu–,”

Levi was cut off by a steadying hand on his shoulder. He looked up to see Erwin shake his head subtly. _Oh, whatever._ He shrugged the hand off irritably. Vermin like Reiner and Bertolt were not worth his time anyway.

“How come we never see them around anymore?” Reiner asked, frowning. _Dick,_ Levi thought.

“They have been in the service for a long time, which comes with certain perks. Like living in soldiers’ quarters, for example.”

 _Like dying_.

"Work hard enough, and you will also be allowed to stay with the other soldiers." The Lieutenant nodded at Hanji. "All yours."

Hanji nodded and then jumped in immediately, spinning the new guys in a flurry of activity while Erwin and Levi went to their Battlestar to prepare for their training. Erwin struggled a little bit with the security belts when he climbed in until Levi sprung up from his seat and jumped over to help him without a single word.

It was just easier that way. And if the warm look Erwin gave him while he worked gave him butterflies, he wasn’t about to dwell on it.

The first touch of his mind against Erwins felt like coming home. The moment the countdown ended and their brains synchronized, Levi's muscles seemed to un-tense, easing him into the drift with the only thought being that of wanting to keep Erwin safe.

He thought he heard Erwin sigh contently somewhere across the neural plane, and in response, he reached out. The two of them soared together into space, with the other team following them but falling behind. Levi didn’t really care about their presence anymore – all thoughts of competition fled his mind, giving way to the incredible oneness he experienced with Erwin.

The drift was the first thing in days that made sense to him, and he could feel through the bond that Erwin felt the same. The thought was exhilarating.

When the time came to return to base, Levi almost wanted to turn the Battlestar around and run for it. Take them as far as fuel would allow; and perhaps the two of them could at least die crashing into a star, with light and the beauty of the universe’s creation in front of them.

But he knew they had to go back. He had promised Erwin.

It was only when they landed, and their hatches opened that he remembered Erwin had lost an arm. The realization seemed to startle them both, and Levi forced himself to shrug it off as he beelined for the locker room with Erwin hot on his heels.

Levi shrugged out of his uniform quickly, letting the top of his jumpsuit hang from his waist as he reached for his towel.

“How was it for you?” He asked eventually, glancing at Erwin who was trying to peel off his uniform as well, to a moderate degree of success. “The drift?”

Erwin finally managed to shrug his way out of the left sleeve by squirming around. “Better than I expected,” he said. “It hurt a little at first but… it was better with you there. You said it yourself. I just need you.”

Levi felt heat rise to his cheeks and looked away, embarrassed. Erwin was far too at ease with saying sentimental garbage like that. Perhaps that would make him a great leader one day.

“Yeah. We’re… partners, after all. And shit.”

Erwin laughed lightly behind his back. “Do you absolutely have to bring shit into everything you say?”

Levi stared into his locked pointedly. “What? Too much for your delicate sensibilities?”

“Look, all I’m saying is… sometimes, it doesn’t hurt to play nicely,” Erwin said. “You were very obviously upset about the new pilots today.”

“No shit,” Levi muttered with a derisive scoff. “Don’t tell me you forgot how they tried to fucking _kill_ us? Or are you that spineless?”

“Not spineless. Smart. If we need friends among the prisoners, this is a good chance,” Erwin corrected.

He was too busy trying to fight his raging impulses – which ranged from beating the shit out of Erwin to getting on his knees and swallowing his cock down in one go – to notice Erwin approaching him. Which ended up with him almost jumping out of his skin when he felt Erwin’s hand on his shoulder.

Levi turned around to see Erwin standing there, weirdly close. Too close. He tried taking a step back, but he was met with a solid wall of lockers, sandwiching himself between those and Erwin whose face was too fucking intense.

“Trust me when I say that we might need them,” Erwin said quietly.

_Why was he so fucking close?_

"You know I trust you with my life; I just don't see–,"

“Oh, you do?” Erwin asked, cutting Levi off with a bit of a smug air to his tone. Levi glanced away to look somewhere in the region of Erwin’s right ear.

“Levi.”  

“Someone needs to look out for you,” Levi muttered. “You trust people too easily. Hanji, Nanaba, Mike, now these two–,”

“I don’t trust Reiner and Bertolt. But we do need them if we want our plan to succeed.” He sighed, reaching out to cup Levi’s cheek. “I know I can trust you to watch my back. And I’m glad.”

“About what?” Levi asked, growing irritated, even though Erwin’s hand on his cheek felt weirdly nice. And it was just a little strange – having him so close. “Nothing about our situation really warrants being _glad_.”

“I'm glad you can trust me too, if only a little,” Erwin said seriously, his eyes searching Levi’s. “It wasn't that long ago you couldn't stand to be in the same room as me.”

“Yeah, well… things change. People change, I guess. And yeah, Smith. I trust you.” _Of course, I fucking trust you. I’d trust you with my life and I’d–,_

"What… are you doing?" His voice was hoarse, and he felt his mouth go dry when he realized that Erwin had started to lean in. Lean _the fuck_ in. Paralyzed by both desire and fear, he stood there, almost about to lift himself onto his toes to just meet Erwin halfway, to finally, _finally_ give in and maybe–

Alright, that was it. He pushed Erwin away with all of his strength, making him stumble back.

“What the _fuck_ , Smith?” He growled. He grabbed his towel angrily and made for the door, only to have Erwin catch him by the wrist.

“Why are you still running from this, Levi?” Erwin asked, and Levi _hated_ just how pretty his eyes were and how much emotion they had in them when Erwin spoke to him. It was only him; he knew that; everyone else got the _slightly bored but still polite_ treatment from Erwin Smith.

That made him feel even worse.

“Shut up.” He glared back. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Erwin let go of Levi’s wrist and made to cross his arms – only to realize that wasn’t possible. For a moment, Levi got a peek at his vulnerability, and his stomach squeezed unpleasantly.

“I won’t shut up,” Erwin said, his tone raised as he took a step forward. “I see what you see out there. I feel what you feel. So yes,I do know what I am talking about. I know that you want this, so why do you keep avoiding me?”

Levi threw down his towel in frustration. “Exactly! You’ve seen it all! My past, all the shit I’ve been through, all the shit I’ve done! You know who I am and you know how _fucked up_ –,”

Erwin sighed, kneeling to pick up Levi’s towel, his eyes still fixed on Levi’s face. The motion made him a little bit off-balance, and Levi had to fight the urge to rush forward and steady him. _Fuck these feelings. Fuck Erwin Smith._

He had been okay with wanting to actually fuck Erwin Smith – who wouldn’t, the man was a fucking Greek statue. But _feelings_ , wanting not just to fuck, but to have and to hold and to kiss and to… to have those picket fence dreams with Erwin, that was new territory, and he was so, so afraid.

“I know who you are,” Erwin said quietly, his subdued tone a stark contrast to Levi’s shouting. “I know everything you have done, and I… I want all of that.”

Levi shook his head. “No, you don’t.”

Erwin let out a bitter laugh. “Levi, the picket fence dream you thought I had? That’s not me. That _used_ to be me, years ago, back on Earth, maybe. But being here, being with _you_ , it… changed me.”

“I know who you are, Levi. And I think you’re beautiful. Inside and out.”

It was as if he had just been thrown out the airlock. All the oxygen in the room seemed to have disappeared, and drawing breath into collapsed lungs proved to be a challenge.

_How can you be so free with saying things like that?_

Levi stood there, shell-shocked. His heart seemed to alternate between hammering away in his ears and stilling at Erwin's words because he knew, of course, he _knew_ all those things. They shared one mind; sometimes it felt like they shared one _soul_.

“I don’t deserve you,” he whispered, reaching out to take the towel from Erwin. It all felt too much. He felt that there wasn't enough air in the room and every bone in his body was telling him to leave.

Erwin allowed the cloth to slip through his fingers. He watched Levi turn his back and leave the room.

“No, we are exactly what we deserve.”

He thought he saw Levi pause for a moment but when he blinked, his small figure had already been swallowed up by the darkness of the hallway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, love kernels in the form of kudos/subscriptions/comments are much appreciated and encouraged. Studies have shown that external validation boosts self-esteem. Science says so. Look it up.

**Author's Note:**

> TraumaticTeacups: I’ve wanted to write this fic for years! It initially started when I said my favorite AUs are Prisons AUs and Pacific Rim AUs (and Drag Queens) so to prove a point I tried to combine them. Anyway here is that fic (minus the Drag Queens). New to the whole writing scene but have my wonderful co-author to push me to actually publish my ideas. Really excited to share it with you all! 
> 
> haganenoheichou: I know I shouldn’t start a new fic when I have so many WIPs, but I promise this one will be shorter than usual, and this time, I have a co-author! Which should keep both of us motivated. Hopefully. Anyway, the initial idea for this story came into my head when I was watching the Sense8 New Year special episode right after finishing an episode of Knights of Sidonia. Basically, you have Netflix to thank for this.  
> I’d also recently read Starfighter by hamletmachine, so that also served as inspiration, along with Battlestar Galactica and some other space-based works of fiction, such as my co-author’s favorite, Pacific Rim!
> 
>  
> 
> Please check out our Tumblrs, haganenoheichou and traumaticteacups. Looking forward to your comments!


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